


Weight Beneath My Skin

by WolvenFighter



Series: Men of No Nation [4]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, More tags to follow, Past Relationship(s), Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Porn With Plot, Red Dead Redemption 2 Spoilers, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Video Game: Red Dead Redemption 2 (2018), follows the events of the game, get ready to fuckin cry, implied Dutch/Micah, implied John/Abigail - Freeform, major feels, some canon changes, trigger warnings in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:53:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27584360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolvenFighter/pseuds/WolvenFighter
Summary: 1899.The turn of the century has arrived, and with it comes new laws, new burdens to bear, as well as having to come to terms with the life you live, whether you do your worst or try your best, all things must come to an end and in an age of imperfection, it's only a matter of time. There's nowhere to run, and no time to die.[I know it's long, but trust me, read the first three parts!]
Relationships: John Marston/Arthur Morgan
Series: Men of No Nation [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1322261
Comments: 44
Kudos: 45





	1. Now or Never

**Author's Note:**

> WE ARE FINALLY HERE.
> 
> I don't think anyone is as excited as I am to do this part lmao. It's come with ups and downs and while I'm not exactly sure what my uploading schedule will be like once I start school, I can't wait to experience this with you guys!
> 
> As usual, just gonna explain a few things before we get into the story:
> 
> YES! This part focuses on the games events and yes, I will be following the game as closely as I can with my own elements of story and plot mixed in, there will be some changes to missions to support the story I want to tell but overall it's following the game.
> 
> YES AGAIN! This part will focus mostly on just Arthur and John! I do have some ideas with some side characters but they're not really concrete yet and I don't wanna say anything if I'm not ready to put it into action but let me quell any worries, this part is for Arthur and John! I can't wait to get these boys together again!
> 
> Thank you so much to anyone whose been following this fic since the beginning and if you're a newcomer welcome and thank you so so so much too, as well as to the people who have made amazing fanart! Even though I'm confident this story will be great on its own, I tend to reference things from the past parts often in the fic so it would be a good idea to read the other parts to understand everything here! I know it's a long haul but I think it's worth the read!
> 
> Now I'll shut up and here we go for Part 4 of Men of No Nation: Weight Beneath My Skin.
> 
> -Eros

_May 14th, 1899_

_Kid just turned four and all of a sudden he thinks he can run with the big boys, I gotta admit sometimes I wanna let him, though his mother would tan my hide if I even considered such a thing. They always say kids grow fast but I never experienced it myself, and whoever_ _they_ _are they're completely right. It feels like just yesterday I held him as a little bundle of blankets in my arms... Then the talking, then the walking, I still can't believe my eyes some days-_

"John!"

The sound of Abigail's demanding tone made Arthur's pencil slip, forcing his eyes over to the closed flap of his tent before he rolled his eyes in an unamused fashion. He could see it a mile away that John and Abigail would end up together and he did whatever he could to stay away from both of them mostly just for his own sake. Things between him and John were... Well, he didn't even know.

Even after these years apart, Arthur was _still_ hurt after John deserted them, he didn't think there was anything that could make up for that, but at the end of the day, that wasn't his business anymore. Arthur kept himself typically ten feet or more away from John just to keep the peace.

_-some days that his parents can be so goddamn annoying._

Finishing his entrance, Arthur scoffed softly before he slapped the leather-bound book shut, whatever he originally planned to write was gone now and that typically was the case whenever Abigail and John were in the same place. He always wondered why they tortured each other, why didn't they just call it quits..?

The boy... Right.

Shaking his head of any unpleasant memories, Arthur pushed himself up to stand before walking out of his tent. The morning light from winters bane cascaded down on Arthur's face and he was pleasantly surprised to feel that the air was no longer so harsh in the morning. Summer was coming quickly, and Dutch of course was wanting to get their _business affairs_ in order so they could leave.

Leave to where exactly was unknown, but that was Dutch for you.

"Dutch, come on you can't seriously still be considering this." Hosea scoffed as Arthur walked toward the coffee that was permeating the morning air.

"Why not? There's _a lot_ of money just sittin' on that boat just ripe for the picking and soon it won't be there anymore. Why should we let such an opportunity slip past us?" Dutch asked back.

"There's something wrong with a bunch of fellows who leave that kinda money lyin' around like that and you know it. It's either a trap or far too easy than you're makin' it out to be." Hosea growled as Arthur finally began his approach so he could moderate if need be.

Things between Dutch and Hosea were unusually strained as well, over the last year or so as more and more people began joining them, the stress of keeping a small family alive became a mission to get their community as a whole out alive, all of them... Including some that Arthur would be more than happy to leave behind.

"Oh come on old man, you can't be shakin' in your boots already." Micah crooned, already making Arthur's hair stand on end as he noted the blonde man standing by Dutch and his stupid decisions as usual.

"Micah." Arthur warned as he stood by Hosea.

"Oh sorry cowpoke, I forgot no one can question Hosea's judgment when you're around." Micah snorted.

"Shut up." Arthur scoffed as he took a drink of his coffee. "It ain't Hosea's judgment that's in question."

"There it is." Dutch stated, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that." Arthur sighed.

"Then what did it mean exactly? Do you two really think that you and Arthur's business is gonna be enough to get us out of this godforsaken country?" Dutch inquired.

"It's not all about the money Dutch!" Hosea reminded as Dutch waved him off and began walking away with Micah close in tow. "You should try to talk to him about this, it seems no matter where I stand, my opinions mean nothing to him anymore." He snarled softly and walking in the opposite direction away from Arthur.

Blinking, Arthur looked in both directions as he saw Dutch and Hosea storm away from each other. It wasn't often that they were _this_ at odds with each other, sighing Arthur took another drink of his coffee.

"But I just got here..." He mumbled to no one but himself.

"Trouble in paradise?" The familiar soft voice of none other than Jenny Kirk came to his ears as Arthur turned and noted her approach.

Jenny was a young woman, probably younger than all of the women they currently rode with, but she was a fiery girl. Her Scottish accent reminded Arthur a bit of Molly, though she was a completely different page of his book.

"As always." Arthur sighed. "Don't worry about them though, they'll get over themselves eventually. They're just stressed about the plan." He explained, watching Jenny frown a bit.

"I-I'm sorry, I feel like I've made such a mess of things." She sighed as she leaned down and got herself a cup of coffee as well.

"You?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"W-Well yes... I know I've been ridin' with you lot for a while now but I know that things weren't exactly peachy when I came into the picture." She explained but Arthur was quick to shake his head in response.

Jenny was the last lone soul they picked up in their travels just a few months prior, a poor girl just stuck on the side of the road. Of course, Dutch couldn't resist the ladies, Molly O'Shea was the same way, a young girl looking for adventure in all the wrong places... Thankfully though, Dutch didn't try to bed Jenny, there were plenty of others already in line trying for that and Arthur could see why. Jenny was an attractive woman and she didn't take crap from anyone, even Micah who tried on multiple occasions to swoon her as he did everyone else with his tactless mouth.

"Trust me, darlin' you had nothin' to do with this." Arthur reassured before his eyes looked after Dutch. "... He just gets excited and it doesn't help that _some people_ are fueling his fire." He scoffed softly in regards to Micah.

"Arthur that ain't fair." Javier mused as he and Lenny approached the conversation.

"Maybe, but you know that Dutch's tends to get over-excited and Micah ain't helpin' things." Arthur replied.

"You don't gotta pretend you like him, Javier." Lenny chuckled.

"Trust me I don't. He makes one more crack about Mexico and he's going down like a sack of rocks but let's be serious, Dutch is smarter than that." He said with conviction to which Arthur couldn't help but puff out a small chuckle.

"You may be right about that, but I'm gonna go make sure..." He mused before departing the small group.

Arthur had to admit, he liked those that had joined them in the last year, most of them proved to be true allies despite the occasional bad apple. However, Arthur reminded himself that even Micah had his uses... Sometimes. As he noted the pair discussing things casually by Dutch's tent, Arthur took a breath as he readied himself for any of Micah's incessant taunting.

"Dutch." Arthur said gently, watching the other eye him somewhat distrustfully which never failed to hurt Arthur no matter how he hid it.

"What is it, Arthur?" He inquired, however as Arthur went to speak he noted Micah watching him, glee written in his orbs as he saw Arthur struggling.

"... Micah, get lost." He commanded seriously and watching with sheer mirth as Micah begrudgingly did as he was told and left he and Dutch to their own devices. "He's glued to your hip constantly, doesn't that bother you?" Arthur asked curiously.

"I know you have your reservations about him but at least he trusts me." Dutch huffed in a slight pout.

"Don't do that." Arthur grumbled.

"Arthur, do you trust me?" Dutch then asked seriously, somewhat catching Arthur off guard as he stood there.

"O-Of course I do, you _know_ that." He stated.

"Do I? Because all I've been hearin' from you and Hosea these past few weeks is nothin' but actin' like I've lost my marbles... Remember, Arthur this is a hundred and fifty _thousand_. We'd never have to worry about the law again!"

"D-Dutch we're not tryin' to doubt you! You have to admit there's something... Shady about it. What bank leaves _that_ much money with little to no protection? They _know_ we're in the area Dutch this just doesn't seem right." Arthur explained as best he could, however soon Dutch placed both his hands upon Arthur's shoulders causing him to pause.

"I _know_ the risks Arthur but can we afford not to? The Pinkerton's been breathin' down our necks for months, if this job goes well we will never have to worry about them, or anyone else comin' after us... We could _retire_ my friend." Dutch said in his mystical ways as usual, painting a picture that seemed too good to be true however Arthur was tired of fighting.

"As long as Hosea and I get to do our thing, we've been workin' on it for weeks." He huffed, watching Dutch beam a grin at him.

"I knew you'd come around." He chortled as he swung an arm around Arthur's neck and looked toward the bustling bunch of people.

"Just remember I won't be there to save you..." Arthur snorted.

"I'll be sure to." Dutch chuckled warmly in reply before he patted Arthur's left shoulder firmly and brushing past him.

However, following his form, Arthur's frown soon returned. He felt like he had been had... Like Dutch had swooned him and made him concede, he had been doing that a lot lately and Hosea had a point when he said that Dutch didn't really seem to care at all about what he _or,_ more importantly, Hosea had to say. It was unlike him, Dutch was a levelheaded individual... But Arthur had to give him some credit, things had been unusually stressful in the last few months which caused for quick decisions without much time to talk them over. It wasn't the first time they disagreed on choices and it probably wouldn't be the last but it never failed to stress Arthur out, however he soon felt the soft tugging on his pants and looking down his heart fluttered.

"Uncle Arthur!" Jack beamed. "Are you and Uncle Dutch goin' on a super-secret mission!?" He asked, earning a rich chortle from Arthur as he knelt down to Jack's level.

"Not yet, gotta be patient boy these things take time... Whose been tellin' you about our super secrets?" He asked playfully as he arched a brow, smirking as he watched Jack get bashful though he already knew Uncle told the kid all kinds of grand stories.

"I can't tell you!" He giggled, fidgeting as he saw Arthur grin.

"Good job... That's the first part of being one of us kid you can't be a rat." He mused softly, winking at Jack.

"Arthur Morgan you better not have just said what I think you did."

Arthur's form went rigid, he could have sworn he said what he did softly enough... But as he slowly turned his head and noted that indeed Abigail was standing there with her arms crossed and glaring at him, he smiled a tad nervously.

"I-I don't know what you heard..." He mumbled.

"Oh please I've been lied to you plenty of times by you, you can't hide it from me." She scoffed much more venomously than usual as she walked past Arthur and looked down to Jack with much softer eyes. "Jackie honey, why don't you go see Uncle Hosea? You need to practice your writin'." She suggested, but watched Jack sigh with exasperation.

"But mama-"

"No buts." She quipped, a small vein popping out of her forehead being enough to send Jack running before she turned back to Arthur as he stood back up straight. "You have no right." She growled.

"I was just humoring the kid, Abigail..." Arthur muttered. "You don’t really think I'm gonna take him on a heist or somethin' do you?" He then asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I don't want him lookin' up to people like you!" She then snarled, but she quickly reeled herself back realizing she had gone to far when she saw the hurt openly cross Arthur's face. "... I'm sorry." She mumbled, reaching up and anxiously tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "I-It's not you it's-"

"Go on, I'd love to hear it." The sound of John's confrontational tone sent Arthur's heart into his gut and he suddenly wished he was anywhere but there at that moment.

Arthur _hated_ it when he was in the middle of their arguments, it usually led to him being demeaned in one way or another if he dared to step in, but often he was thrown into it accidentally. Abigail and John had been far more volatile than normal which led to stressful situations in camp especially for Jack, but Abigail at least _tried_ to keep him from seeing most of it... But their voices generally carried.

"Don't start, dammit John!" She barked.

"What!? At least he's not trying to hide who we really are!" John snarled, actually shocking Arthur, if John was defending him things between him and Abigail must've been _really_ bad.

"Why do you people act like this is a life to be proud of!? I want better for my son is that so hard to understand!?" She cried.

Arthur felt for Abigail there to a point, she wasn't so against the gang's activities until the Pinkertons caught up to their location and began shooting at both the women _and_ Jack regardless of him being a child. Thankfully nothing like that had transpired since, Dutch had been _extra_ careful because whether no one wanted to admit it, Jack was their _prized_ possession, the prime example as their success to raise proper members of society... Almost losing him was like a knife in the gut to everyone. Abigail _did_ have reason to be scared after all but Arthur made sure to stay silent and slowly began to back away since this wasn't his fight anymore.

"Your son, _exactly_." John spat before turning on his heel and thankfully walking away, but not soon enough.

Arthur couldn't help rolling his eyes softly at that comment, he knew that John really did care for the boy, and said things that like to intentionally hurt Abigail... And even if she was a nag at times, she didn't deserve that. Despite wanting to step in and comfort her, Arthur knew that would be both a fruitless and self-destructive venture on his part, but even though Abigail's fists were shaking she turned to Arthur again.

"... I'm sorry Arthur." She muttered softly once again, but didn't wait for Arthur's response before she too turned and walked in the opposite direction to both help and learn with Jack side by side with Hosea.

Arthur sighed softly before he reached into his satchel, at least the crisis was averted... But he was out of smokes.

"Here."

Glancing over, Arthur was relieved when he noticed Susan holding out a cigarette out to him. He sighed with relief and reached forward, watching her slip one between her lips, Arthur lit both of the smokes while they stood in silence for a few moments.

"This is gettin' ridiculous." She eventually scoffed.

"Yeah but what're you gonna do?" Arthur sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"It ain't good for that boy to see things like that... Abigail ain't much better than John she needs to realize that." She huffed.

"Yeah but I'm not about to tell her that." Arthur snorted, getting elbowed by Susan playfully.

"I guess you're right anyway... It's gotta be up to them to get their's head outta their asses... Lord only hopes they do it before it's too late." She grumbled.

"I second that."

"Arthur!"

Turning his head, Arthur noted Mac waving at him from a distance and while he wanted to stay and decompress with Miss Grimshaw, duty called... Sending a small apologetic look to her he motioned to the cigarette as a thank-you before walking toward the other to finalize the preparations for both the ferry job as well as secure the timeline for his and Hosea's plan. This was their most enthusiastic job yet and if they succeeded, they would never have to do another one.

"Come on, pick up the pace! Everyone has to be ready at the same time or this will never work!" Miss Grimshaw boomed, hurrying everyone to pack up their belongings.

The plan was simple, Dutch and his group would head to the ferry, and at precisely noon, Arthur and Hosea would start heading toward their job. Hopefully, there would be no commotion and they would meet back at camp at the same time, at which point they would immediately leave before they were caught up. The timing was everything.

"Why don't you help us then you old hag!" Karen spat.

"Excuse me!?" Susan shrieked.

"Now ladies that's enough! We can't afford to be fighting when time is of the essence." Dutch defused quickly as he slipped on his gloves and made sure his revolvers were loaded.

Abigail and John hadn't said one word to each other since the previous day of their explosion... Both of them wordlessly got ready, at least Jack was still the bubbly happy personality that zoomed around camp, asking who he could help. Children were certainly the most resilient things in the world.

Arthur on the other hand, stood by Hosea as he watched Dutch along with John, Micah, Javier, Sean, Bill, Mac, and Davey look like they were preparing for all-out war... But if this plan was as solid as Dutch and Micah pretended that it was, they wouldn't need all that firepower, but Hosea was done with griping at Dutch about it. He just wordlessly shook his head before he slowly sank to his rear into a chair by his sleeping quarters.

"Come on Hosea, have a little faith." Arthur encouraged softly.

"Arthur, you know just as well as I do that something doesn't feel right about this... Truthfully I hope I'm wrong, I'm not trying to be right for the hell of it... Who knows, maybe he's right, maybe I am startin' to lose it." He sighed, but Arthur's hand soon fell firmly upon his shoulder before squeezing it.

"I'll be the judge of that." He snorted, watching Hosea managed a small chuckle.

"Then I fear we are all lost." He teased.

"There he is." Arthur chuckled almost affectionately to the older man, looking up as Dutch approached them.

"We're just about ready, you two comin' along with us?" He asked, averting his gaze from Hosea.

However, the older of the two sighed before he got up and actually nodded. Hosea was very amused watching the relief flood over Dutch's expression.

"Of course, if we don't go who the hell knows what'll happen." Hosea mused, earning a small smile from Dutch.

"G-Good then." He muttered before turning to the bustling people of their camp. "Alright everyone listen up for a moment please!" He announced, waiting patiently for everyone to stop what they were doing. "We're gettin' ready to head out, does anyone have questions before we depart?" He asked, earning silence from the crowd. "Good, but just to be safe, remember once we get back we have maybe even minutes before we get caught up, we need to be ready to go am I clear?" He asked.

"Don't you worry on that front Dutch, Mister Pearson and I will make sure we're packed up and ready to go." Susan reassured.

"I assumed nothing less, thank you, Miss Grimshaw. Alright everyone let's ride!" Dutch then cheered for good measure.

As all the men began approaching their horses, John was among them and his mind was so clouded with his own misfortunes he didn't even hear Jack calling to him.

"Pa! Pa! Wait!" He called, eventually reaching John's ears.

"What?" He snarled far more aggressively than he meant to come off, but when he turned down and saw that Jack's stride stopped in his tracks and his expression was nothing short of nervous, he inwardly cursed at his own personality. "S-Sorry Jack, what is it?" He asked far calmer than before and motioning the child closer, he was thankful that Jack continued and walked up to him.

"C-Can I come?" He asked softly, nearly making John cringe but at the same time he couldn't help but smile with a bit of pride.

"Sorry kid... Not yet. Don't be in a hurry for these things." John replied in a hushed tone to keep Abigail from overhearing them.

"Aw pa, you sound like Uncle Arthur..." Jack groaned, forcing John's heart to clench rather painfully.

"I do not." He scoffed softly but quickly shook his head and reached up to gently pat the boys head. "Besides, you need to be here to protect your mama. Consider that your job while we're gone alright?" He asked, watching Jack's eyes light up happily.

"I can do that pa! I promise!" He said nodding enthusiastically before launching himself into John's arms.

It wasn't often that Jack hugged him... And John had to admit it felt so fucking sweet. He stiffened for a moment out of pure reaction to physical contact, but he soon gulped before slowly wrapping his arms around Jack's small form. It was moments like this that reminded him of why he stuck around with Abigail. When Jack backed away he grinned happily before racing back toward camp without a second thought, however, when he looked over he noted that Arthur was watching him... And he noted the softness in Arthur's eyes, quickly huffing he looked away as a small blush rose in his features for being caught in such a vulnerable position with Jack.

Arthur puffed out a small breath of amusement as he watched John avert his eyes from him, even when they seemed to hate each other, Arthur had to admit torturing the man was still fun on most days. Although, when he looked the other way, his gut turned slightly when he saw Dutch and Molly O'Shea speaking in rather hushed tones, watching Molly giggle softly and swat Dutch playfully.

It wasn't that Arthur had anything against Molly _personally_ besides the fact that after she and Dutch got involved that she suddenly became above chores, but Arthur couldn't help the discomfort he felt at the... Rather uncanny resemblance to Annabelle. He made the mistake once of pointing that out and it was one of the biggest fights he and Dutch ever had, but it was plainly obvious to everyone except Molly that she was far more invested in Dutch than he was her. To a point, he couldn't blame Dutch, losing Annabelle was probably the hardest thing that he had ever gone through, and with this young woman sporting such similar features... Perhaps it was only natural, but her personality was rather the opposite of Annabelle.

While Annabelle was soft-spoken but courageous, Molly wasn't afraid to let her voice be heard but she always allowed Dutch to treat her like a doormat when he called for it just to keep him happy... Truly Arthur didn't understand their relationship, but he was the _last_ person to be dishing out romantic advice.

With that thought in his mind, Arthur just turned to the horse he'd be riding for the job. He still hadn't bonded to another horse like he had The Admiral, part of that was by choice another was just he hadn't found the right one yet. Uncle always said that he was too picky, but when you choose a horse that would be responsible for saving your life every time you left camp to do something dangerous, you needed to be able to trust it... And while this horse would do, for now, he still hadn't found a _permanent_ horse yet.

"Arthur, you ready?" Hosea inquired.

"Of course, you?" Arthur asked back.

"... We'll see." Hosea muttered before nodding.

Once everyone was upon their horses, Dutch led the small army out of camp... It was now or never, but the building feeling in his gut, the feeling the Hosea was more the happy to express to Dutch, didn't subside but Arthur reminded himself over and over again that he trusted Dutch. He had trusted Dutch for over twenty years, he wasn't going to stop now even if he made a few mistakes in the past, he was human.

Thankfully, Arthur didn't have too long to worry about the feeling settling in his gut by the time that they got within range of Blackwater. It was one of the few towns in the Western region that was growing rather quickly and bustling with the newest _technology_ whatever the hell that meant. He had heard of cities like New York that were crowded with thousands upon thousands of people, perhaps even millions, just the thought made Arthur uncomfortable. How could people live like that?

Pulling back, Dutch slowed everyone down as they could see the ferry at the docks. Reaching into his satchel, he pulled out a pair of binoculars and peered in to get a better look. Just like the many times they had surveyed it in the past... Little to no protection, it was as if they could stroll right on in.

"How's it look, boss?" Micah asked.

"Looks like we're gettin' paid." Dutch mused with a grin as he pulled the contraption down and looked to Hosea and Arthur. "You two got the time?"

"Yep, we know the drill." Arthur mentioned, knowing he and Hosea had to wait for about twenty minutes, when Dutch nodded and readied to kick The Count, Hosea spoke suddenly.

"Dutch!" He barked, somewhat surprising Dutch who turned back to him and despite pausing, Hosea sighed. "... Good luck." He eventually murmured, watching Dutch grin.

"You too my brother. Alright everyone but Arthur and Hosea, with me!" He ordered before riding forward.

Arthur and Hosea stayed behind as they watched the group advance without them and only when they were out of sight did they kick their horses forward at a leisurely pace so that they could get into town before needing to take off. Now it was all up to Dutch to keep it cool...

> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world
> 
> Did I hear a thunder?  
> Did I hear you break?  
> I can't quite remember
> 
> Just what guided me this way
> 
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world
> 
> The pines, they often whisper  
> They whisper what no tongue can tell  
> He who drinks from the deep water  
> May he know the depths of the well  
> Well
> 
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world  
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world
> 
> Mmm, oh, traveler  
> What have you seen?  
> Were there crossroads  
> Where you been, where you been?  
> I once was standing tall  
> Now I feel my back's against the wall
> 
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world  
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world
> 
> Solo
> 
> The morning light  
> When it comes to me  
> It was there but I could not see  
> Am I to wander  
> As a wayward son?  
> Will the hunter be hunted
> 
> By the smoking gun? 
> 
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world  
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world  
> May I stand unshaken  
> Amid, amidst a crashing world
> 
> source: [Unshaken by D'Angelo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pmUZ0OWb3E&ab_channel=cryifyoufeel)


	2. Direct Assault

Arthur and Hosea watched as the group disbanded, his eyes resting on John's back as they did so. Reaching up, he adjusted his hat briefly before glancing at Hosea, who also seemed to have a slightly longing stare. He frowned somewhat, the pit of doubt beginning to swell in his gut again. It wasn't like Hosea to worry this much and it didn't help Arthur's anxieties.

"You alright over there?" He asked, watching Hosea blink before looking over.

"Hm? Yeah... I just... I wish I could get over this feeling." He mentioned before sighing and shrugging his shoulders.

"Me too... Let's get goin' so we can get this over with and go." Arthur mused, watching Hosea nod and turn his horse toward the ranch they were heading to.

They walked at a leisurely pace toward Blackwater, looking around carefully and looking as inconspicuous as possible. Arthur scanned around the people walking on the streets and while he did see more than a handful of police patrolling the streets, none looked at him longer than a glance and neither he nor Hosea saw any Pinkertons, causing Arthur to kick his mount a little bit to catch up to the other ahead of him.

"Hey, wanna stop at a bar before we head over there?" He inquired.

"Are you serious?" Hosea scoffed.

"A hundred percent." Arthur snickered. "Come on, we got at least a half-hour before we gotta be there, let's relax a little." Arthur suggested, and despite watching Hosea look at him somewhat incredulously, it slowly melted off his face until he eventually hummed.

"You know what, you're right... Besides, if there's any commotion it'll be easier to tell in town." He mused.

Walking into the nearest establishment which was full of people of all walks of life with Hosea, Arthur couldn't help but feel a small wave of nostalgia as memories from years before began flooding his mind. Reaching into his satchel, Arthur wordlessly ran his thumb over his silver pocket watch before he followed Hosea to a quieter area of the room and got a table of their own. Arthur had to admit, he did relish getting this time with Hosea to himself, ever since their small family became a tiny little society of their own, it was harder to get time with Hosea and Dutch, not that he complained but he cherished moments like these. Joking with Hosea with old times was almost enough for Arthur to forget about the feeling of impending doom...

* * *

"I can't believe you were right." Mac snorted to Micah as they hauled handfuls of cash into their bags, Dutch had the largest bag out of all of them.

"I told ya." Micah chortled as he mirrored their actions.

John had to admit he was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to get to the load of cash that Dutch had so grandly promised. For a while John had begun to wonder if Arthur and Hosea were right considering how uncharacteristically easy it was to get here, but could he really complain?

"How're we doin' gentlemen?" Dutch asked.

"Good boss!" Micah quipped.

"Good here." Bill replied.

"Not much longer, Dutch." John mentioned.

Sean stood by a window observing the docks and looking for any suspicious activity, and it had been mostly quiet since they had arrived. He got a little nervous when he saw a few cops pass by but otherwise it had been calm. However as he looked on and observed his brothers looting the last of the cash Sean yawned tiredly before he reached up and rubbed his eyes, but as he glanced back out to the docks he gasped.

"D-Dutch!" He called.

"What is it, Sean?" Dutch asked, occupied with the cash at hand.

"Y-You're gonna wanna see this! Everyone get ready!" He barked, putting everyone on edge.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Dutch asked as he jogged over to where Sean was carefully peeking around the window.

As Sean moved out of the way so Dutch could sneak a peak as well, sweat began forming at his brows as he suddenly saw dozens of suits lined up by the docks... All armed, how could they have assembled so quickly in such great numbers!?

"I-I swear I looked away for only a minute!" Sean promised, honest panic rampant in his eyes as Dutch glanced over, Sean wasn't the most reliable member of their bunch of hooligans, but he wasn't negligent.

"I know son..." Dutch assured before looking back out as a feeling of guilt already began blossoming in his gut. "... The hell are they doin'?" Dutch inquired softly as he saw a few men running around and seeming to set up some kind of device by the pier.

"Dutch what's goin' on?" John asked as everyone hunkered down in their positions trying to be quiet.

"I-I don't know... It looks like their buildin' somethin' but I can't tell what it is." He explained, narrowing his eyes. "Pinkertons." He growled.

Remembering he had his binoculars, Dutch reached into his bag and put the device up to his face, and frowned. It was still difficult to make out what it was, but as a T shaped handle was brought out, Dutch tilted his head. It didn't register until they slipped it in place on top of a box... It was a detonator.

"Shit! Everyone better hang on!" He yelled.

Without warning and without mercy-

_**BOOM.** _

The ferry nearly threw everyone across the room and almost flipping entirely over onto its side from the force of the explosion. It seemed that the Pinkertons had somehow rigged dynamite to the bottom left side of the boat before they arrived, causing it to rock with such force not to just throw everyone off balance but nearly killing Sean when the counter where the money was on flew toward him and missed him by a foot.

"I-Is everyone okay!?" Dutch called as he held his head and wobbled as the ferry groaned and continued swaying as it tried to regain it's balance.

"I-I think so!" John called, huffing as he pushed himself up but was caught by Dutch as the motion of the boat caught him off balance again. "W-What the hell was that?" He asked as everyone tried to recover from the force.

"I have no idea..."

"Gentlemen we got a problem!" Bill yelled. "It's sinking!"

John gasped as the rushing sound of water beginning to fill the bottom deck began hissing through the air. So this was their plan... If the explosion didn't kill them, they were going to be forced into the open when they fled the boat.

"What do we do boss!?" Micah asked.

"Well, we can't stay here! Everyone grab your bags and get ready for a fight!"

* * *

_**BOOM.** _

The force could be felt all the way from the bar causing everyone to gasp and murmur uncomfortably, and it was as if the explosion could be felt deep within Arthur's heart and he looked to Hosea with a terror-filled expression and it seemed that Hosea had the same idea as he did.

Without hesitation, Hosea and Arthur darted out of the bar without even paying for their drinks before mounting their horses and beginning to ride toward the source of the smoke billowing high in the sky coming from the pier. Arthur's heart beat wildly and he prayed that the feeling that was permeating in his body was just an overreaction.

"Arthur turn!" Hosea suddenly commanded and swerved Silver Dollar into a nearby alleyway to Arthur's surprise and lead his horse down the same way.

"What the hell was that?" Arthur asked as he pulled back seeing that Hosea had stopped and dismounted.

"Shh!" Hosea hissed and pulled Arthur toward the other opening the alley once he was off his horse as well.

Arthur followed and went where directed and carefully Hosea held up a finger to his lips as he motioned to the corner, confusing Arthur and tilting his head he carefully approached it before narrowly looking around and feeling his heart drop into his stomach as he saw upwards to fifty suits standing by the pier as well as multiple police and bounty hunters... Hosea was right all along.

Quickly pulling his head back he looked to Hosea with a grave expression before he heard a voice.

"Dutch van der Linde!" The male voice yelled in the silence of the aftermath. "You and your low down accomplices have exactly thirty seconds to lay down your weapons and come out of hiding or I will have no choice but to use deadly force! You have a warrant in four states and have no more ground left to run!"

"W-What the hell do we do? There's no way we can take on all of 'em." Arthur whispered regretfully, if adrenaline wasn't already pumping through his body he'd be shaking.

Hosea frowned as he reached up and rubbed his forehead, they had two choices... Stay and risk everything and everyone, or leave Dutch and the rest of them behind to surely either perish or be arrested. Cringing, for the first time in his adult life, Arthur watched as Hosea slammed his fist into the side of the wall that protected them from view as he growled wordlessly. If Dutch had just listened... Had _some_ common fucking sense...

For a few horrible moments, Hosea thought he would have to make the unforgivable decision of leaving Dutch behind in order to protect Arthur, Abigail, Jack, and the other innocent people caught up in their bullshit... However, as he looked over and noticed a ladder leading up to the roof, presumably a fire escape... Hosea had an idea, it was a long shot but it was their only hope of rescuing the boys, and there was still no guarantee that they wouldn't become victims here as well... But Hosea couldn't leave Dutch behind no matter how angry he was. Taking a breath, he looked to Arthur who still looked a little stunned by his outburst, his own expression showing Arthur how serious this situation was.

"... You ready to risk your life, son?"

* * *

_You and your low down accomplices have exactly thirty seconds to lay down your weapons and come out of hiding or I will have no choice but to use deadly force! You have a warrant in four states and have no more ground left to run!_

A bead of sweat rolled down Dutch's temple as the gravity of the situation began to make itself known... Two choices... Surrender or go down fighting, and Dutch sure as hell wasn't about to give up without a fight, but as he looked upon the men he had willingly drug into this, some of which looked scared, panicked, and angry as hell. Dutch felt foolish...

However, he didn't have a lot of time to lament on that fact, the ferry was sinking and fast. Thankfully they weren't in deep water, but with the floor shifting... The boat was minutes from rolling over, and if they got stuck beneath the water, they wouldn't have to worry about getting out at all.

"Alright! John, you're with me, the rest of you, as soon as the commotion starts, you're gonna make you're way out where John and I go! John and I will keep you covered as best we can, but be ready to shoot back!" He explained before looking to John with an apologetic expression at his own shocked one. "... You're the best shot here, son. I can't do this one without you." He sighed.

While John had been shocked that Dutch had named him so suddenly as his partner in this endeavor he wasn't opposed to it, in fact, John almost blushed. He didn't realize that Dutch had thought of him as the best shot out of their little group, was that why Dutch asked him to come along? John's heart swelled for a moment before reminding himself now wasn't the time to get a big head he nodded quickly.

"Lead the way, I'm behind you Dutch." He stated confidently, watching Dutch smile.

"No matter what... You're gettin' back to your, son." He mused, pride shining in his orbs as a proud father would before he reached forward and clapped John's shoulder.

The boat shifted again, reminding the small group that time was definitely of the essence, Dutch and John readied before darting out, quickly being met with gunfire. Thankfully there seemed to be plenty of cargo on the deck providing some cover for the experienced marksmen. However, since they were still somewhat unsure of what they were up against, the amount of gunfire John barely managed to get into cover before he felt the searing pain of a bullet entering his arm... Effectively making him useless before he could even fire a shot. John released a cry as he collapsed behind one of the crates, holding his bicep as Dutch knelt next to him.

"Shit! My arm!" John groaned as blood began to drip down onto the floor.

Dutch looked on with futility... There was no way that he alone would be able to cover all his men as they tried to exit the ferry. All hopes of that died when John got shot, and it was all his fault. Biting his tongue, Dutch knew at this point... It was just a matter of seeing how many of those government lapdogs he could take down with him. But peering around cover briefly, Dutch suddenly noticed fewer bodies shooting than before... It was almost unnoticeable and for a moment he thought he was crazy until in the middle of the chaos, Dutch noticed one of the men in the back suddenly fall.

"The hell..?" He murmured softly, jumping as a bullet whizzed by his face.

Had Arthur's scope not reflected the sunlight from the top of the building he was on, Dutch wouldn't have even realized what was happening. Glancing upward, he noticed a sliver of a silhouette come up, take aim and fire a shot before disappearing again. Of course... Arthur and Hosea were here. There were so many guns firing that the Pinktertons didn't even realize that someone else was shooting them from behind. If Arthur could pick off enough of them before he was spotted they may have a fighting chance after all...

Dutch quickly looked back to John who was applying as much pressure as he could to the wound, he reached into his bag and pulled out a bandage that he just happened to grab at the last minute before leaving camp. Reaching forward, he yanked John's arm toward him and quickly began wrapping the appendage.

"D-Dutch I'm... I'm sorry... I messed this up." John murmured, pain contorting his tone but Dutch frowned.

"There was no avoidin' that... This is far from your fault. We need to focus on stayin' alive and getting off this damn boat... Arthur's doin' some population control as we speak."

* * *

Arthur readied Hosea's hunting rifle, it was the best thing they had for long-range, Hosea remained at the bottom of the ladder after hiding the horses to protect Arthur in case any of the law got wise to his location. He'd be able to take out whoever tried to get to Arthur and Arthur would be able to escape once all was said and done, but knowing everyone's lives mainly rested on his shoulders, Arthur took a slow long breath as he lined up his first head... And pulled the trigger.

As Hosea predicted, there were too many people firing for anyone to be able to tell that Arthur was shooting them. He knew eventually that they'd catch on, but every person he put down was one less bullet flying at the crew. After about the fifth person Arthur put down, he noticed the suits beginning to notice that people were dropping which made Arthur had to duck for longer when they looked around. Though as he put his scope back up the sixth time, relief flooded Arthur as he noticed one by one, his brothers began emerging out of the boat shooting as they did so.

They still weren't out of the woods yet, but now that they were all together they could focus on getting off the boat and more importantly being able to fight back. If there was one thing Micah was good for, it was fighting. Out of everyone, Arthur noticed his head popping up the most to fire back, and in his rage, he actually had a decent aim. Slowly, the body count of the Pinkertons began to rise, more importantly, they started to back up little by little as the gang's strength was unified once more.

Arthur watched intently as he did his best to dodge any bullets that were beginning to come his way, he noted that Dutch took the advantage of the retreat to jump off the boat with everyone else in tow. John looked a little worse for wear but he couldn't tell from here what was going on with him. However, with his escape, the Pinkertons began pushing back twice as hard, forcing Dutch and the rest of the gang into a nearby shop next to the dock to get some kind of cover on dry land.

_**BANG. BANG.** _

Arthur gasped softly as he turned toward the ladder, those two shots sounded particularly close and his heart thundered wildly as he raced over to the edge and relief flooding him as he noted Hosea standing over a body before glancing up.

"How's it goin' up there!?" He called.

"Good! They're off the boat!" Arthur replied as he slid down the ladder quickly.

"Thank god, we should probably get outta here I could hear people beginning to point you out." He explained, but Arthur frowned, they hadn't taken out even half of the people accosting Dutch and the gang but now it seemed Arthur had a plan.

"You should go, get everyone together and get them moving out while I meet up with Dutch make sure they know they only have a couple minutes assumin' this goes well..." Arthur paused as the shooting ceased for a moment and looking back to Hosea he nodded. "Go, now while it's quiet."

"You sure?" Hosea asked with a worried frown. "That's a long walk, they're gonna be lookin' for you..." He murmured.

"I know... But they need me." Arthur sighed, watching Hosea frown but nod in respect for his decision.

"Be careful won't you?" Hosea asked as he whistled for Silver Dollar.

"You too."

* * *

Dutch barged into the door of what seemed to be a women's boutique as well as slamming the door behind them once everyone was inside. Javier went to work looking at John's arm while Bill, Mac, and Davey went to guarding the windows.

"W-What do we do, Dutch!?" John asked.

Before Dutch could reply, the shooting suddenly stopped, and he had a moment to think... But that moment didn't last nearly long enough.

"I've made my intentions clear!" The same voice from before bellowed. "You aren't getting away! If you surrender, I may just spare your lives!"

As the man monologued, John took the time to peak out the shop window, noting a carriage beginning to come down the main road toward them. Furrowing his brows, he tilted his head as he stared at it, what wagon driver in their right mind would come here now..? But as it got closer, John noticed it was a police officer driving the vehicle... And his heart stopped as he saw a Gatling gun positioned pointed toward the shop... There was no way the thin wooden walls would protect them from firepower _that_ intense.

"D-Dutch..!"

"I see it." Dutch murmured in reply, obviously in deep thought.

"Hey, boss! Look what I found!" Micah crooned rather creepily as he suddenly walked out of the back room with a woman in his grasp who was cowering and crying.

"Micah what the hell are you doin'?" Dutch gasped.

"She was hiding in the back! We need to use her or we ain't gettin' outta here." He said seriously.

"Y-You're crazy we can't do somethin' like that!" John gasped.

"Would you rather leave in a casket pony-boy?" Micah scoffed.

Dutch wore a hard expression as John looked over to hear his refusal but to his own shock and slight disappointment... Dutch didn't seem to be as opposed as John expected. He wasn't excited about it... But this could have been their only option.

"P-Please let me go..!" The woman cried as she tried to get away from Micah but his grasp on her was solid.

"A-Are you sure about this..?" Javier then muttered rather uncomfortably.

"Do _you_ have another idea?" Bill growled.

"I say why not?" Mac snorted as he and Davey stood by the window. "It's not like they're gonna shoot her."

"I agree." Davey replied.

"Dutch ver der Linde!" The Pinkerton yelled, everyone in the room tensing up once again. "I don't want to kill all of you but I promise you I will! Ten, nine, eight, seven..."

As he began counting, the bead of sweat began to roll down Dutch's forehead as he realized that they were preparing the Gatling gun. However what they didn't realize is while he was counting, a sniper was taking position across the street and aiming into the window... Before they could even prepare for it-

_**BANG.** _

"Davey!" Mac gasped as Davey suddenly fell to the floor.

Had he not shifted his weight to the left, Dutch would have been hit with the bullet... But his body hit the ground with a loud, horrible thud that Dutch was sure he would hear in his every nightmare.

"Damn! I told you to hit Van der Linde!" He heard the Pinkerton sneer out there, only fueling Dutch's rage at their cowardice.

Suddenly, all apprehension of using the woman as a hostage was gone... If they wanted to play dirty, Dutch would too. Reaching over to Micah, he grabbed the woman's arm and yanked her toward him, hearing her gasp and yelp at the rough nature. Without hesitation, Dutch put one of his revolvers to her head before guiding her to the door.

"Dutch stop!" John begged.

"Shut up Marston!" Bill snarled.

Kicking the door to the shop open, revealing the woman to the law, they suddenly became much more hesitant about shooting.

"... Looks like we're at an impasse!" Dutch yelled in response.

John looked on in shock, however, he was suddenly tapped by Javier.

"C'mon! Let's take Davey out the back while we got them distracted." He whispered before looking to Mac. "Come on!" He ushered, watching Mac nod, and carefully helped guide Davey into position as he held his stomach, already looking dizzy and tired.

John hesitated before taking one last look at Dutch's back. He had never taken an innocent person hostage _like this_... Robbing some rich idiots was one thing... But to put an innocent person's life in jeopardy like this was wrong and he didn't want to see how it would end. However, remembering his wound he frowned.

"I-I can't, Bill, you take Davey and I'll cover you two on the way out." He explained.

"You sure you'll be able to pull the trigger?" Bill growled as he walked over to Davey's feet while Javier carefully grabbed his shoulders.

"Shut the hell up, Bill." John growled as he looked down to Davey who was clutching his gut, blood already covering his midsection... This was bad.

Dutch didn't even listen to what was going on behind him, all he could do was count how many bodies were aiming at him... And it was a lot. The man who had been speaking to them sneered as he glared at Dutch, he was certainly an interesting character and Dutch would be certain to remember his face. The woman shook in his grasp, and for a moment he almost felt horrible for subjecting her to this until he heard Davey shriek out in pain while Mac attempted to stop the bleeding from doing him in before they could escape... And that only hardened Dutch further.

"You know that this has to end, Dutch!" The Pinkerton called.

"As all civilizations must end eventually, sir!" Dutch replied.

"They always said you were poetic, but perhaps I misunderstood what they were saying! Maybe they meant pathetic!"

One by one, as Dutch continued speaking, his men carefully slipped out the back door, Micah and Sean sticking with him until he was finished.

"W-We got a problem out there!" Javier gasped as he rushed back in with Mac in tow.

"What is it!?" Micah snarled.

"They have us surrounded! Even if we're on our horses there's no way we'll be able to get out." Javier explained.

Dutch tensed... Perhaps this really was the way he'd go out.

"... I'll go." Mac suddenly piped up.

"What?" Javier inquired as he looked over with a shocked expression.

"... I should be able to buy you enough time to get you outta here." He explained, watching Dutch glance back to him with an almost heartbroken expression, this was a suicide mission.

"U-Uh, I'll go too!" Sean suddenly volunteered.

"This ain't the time to be a hero, kid." Micah growled.

"I know that! B-But... Maybe if I had been lookin' better I might'a been able to see them comin' on the boat. I should do this, we'll have double the chance with two of us." He explained.

"... Be careful, son." Dutch suddenly muttered, as if giving his blessing.

"Fine... I'll have the kid follow me, once you hear bullets, get the hell _outta_ here." Mac stated seriously before motioning Sean to follow him out the back door however he paused. "... Take care of my brother, will ya?" He asked, glancing back to Javier, Micah, and Dutch before ducking out the door with Sean in tow.

All that was left... Was to get out the back door, but the only way he could do that was to make a run for it. Dutch held the girl tightly, wondering if there was a way he could do away with her quickly without getting shot in the process, he could just let her go but...

_Davey!_

Blinking... Dutch frowned, he had to send a message, there was no more playing around... These fuckers had been after them for years, and now mortally wounded one of their own.

"... I'm sorry." He whispered.

> There is a dark room inside of my head  
> Developing images I'd rather forget  
> You laced your tongue with a poison  
> And it makes me remember
> 
>   
> Every night I look out my window  
> Afraid you might return for more  
> I miss your frozen love too much  
> And I'd overdose from just a touch  
> So, baby don't come back
> 
>   
> Oh, whatever you do  
> Don't come back for me  
> After all I've bled for you  
> I can hardly breathe  
> And one more kiss  
> Could take my life
> 
>   
> There is a fire inside of my bed  
> Made of coals that I deeply regret  
> Oh, you left me burning with the embers  
> And I barely made it out alive
> 
>   
> Oh, whatever you do  
> Don't come back for me  
> After all I've bled for you  
> I can hardly breathe
> 
>   
> Oh, you're back inside my dreams  
> Broken bones and empty screams  
> Sleepless nights in burning sheets
> 
>   
> Lightning strikes inside my eyes  
> Tell me is this love alive  
> Tell me now or set me free
> 
>   
> Oh, whatever you do  
> Don't come back for me  
> After all I've bled for you  
> I can hardly breathe  
> And one more kiss  
> Could take my life
> 
> [Come Back For Me by Jaymes Young](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siVzeRABL8Y&ab_channel=AnitV.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry for the lapse in uploading, I got a new job and it's been a chore to get used to as well as dealing with my health issues along with it! I've just been really tired and not been able to formulate words lol.  
> I also wanna add that I forgot to mention in my little intro to the start of the first chapter that there will be some MAJOR trigger warnings in later chapters, I will of course label where and when as clearly as I am able to, but I just wanted to prepare everyone for that! I hope these chapters are worth the wait and I promise I am still working on it! Just may take a little longer to upload~  
> Thanks for all the support and understanding!  
> -Eros


	3. Cruel World

Arthur slid into another nearby alleyway as he, yet again, almost ran into a patrolling police officer, Hosea wasn't joking, they were monitoring the area carefully. How in the hell were they supposed to get away? When he was in the clear he slipped around the corner and slowly made his way toward the building he saw Dutch and the others escape into. It was a longer process than he was hoping for.

However before he could close in on it, a sudden slew of gunshots were heard to the west, a different direction than he was heading... Could they have moved further? At first, Arthur almost deviated from his path but his gut was telling him otherwise and he continued toward the storefront that his brothers had took refuge in. Thankfully the sudden boom of chaos in the opposite direction had a lot of his resistance heading that way and by the time that he got to the building, he saw Davey on the ground looking worse for wear as well as Dutch, Micah, and Javier running out the back door.

"Arthur!" Dutch gasped, finally relief flooding his tone for once.

"Sorry I'm late... Seems you boys had some trouble." Arthur replied looking to Davey before looking around and counting heads. "Where's Mac and Sean?"

"They'll catch up, we gotta go Morgan." Micah interjected, causing Arthur to arch a brow but knew Micah was correct this time around.

"Where are the horses?" Dutch asked.

"Should be where we left 'em." John replied still clutching his arm.

"Good, anyone with an able body bring the horses around, whose gonna take Davey?" Dutch inquired.

"I will." Javier responded.

"Good man." Dutch mused, however looking over to Arthur who had a hard expression he frowned.

"What the hell happened?" He couldn't help asking.

"Later, Arthur." Dutch snapped.

Arthur didn't realize how bad Davey's wound was until he knelt down and opened up his shirt to see blood _coating_ his flesh and clothing alike, he was also getting weak and they could only do so much. Frowning, Arthur quickly reached down with both hands and began pressing down, causing Davey to gasp out and let out a cry of agony.

"Morgan, what're you doin'!?" Bill gasped.

"Shut him the hell up!" Micah snarled.

Bill quickly knelt above Davey's head and clasped a hand over his mouth to silence his voice while Arthur desperately put pressure on the wound. How the fuck could things go so wrong..? Glancing to Dutch and meeting his eyes, he couldn't help but feel a little angry... He and Hosea had warned him over and over again and now... Dutch quickly averted his gaze, having got the message and Arthur knew driving the knife deeper so-to-speak wouldn't help anything. He just went back to tending to Davey until everyone was mounted and ready.

It seemed that Arthur's work would save Davey's life for now as he then replaced the saturated bandage with one of his own. It didn't seem to bleed through right away, giving Arthur at least a little hope for the moment.

"Ready?" He asked up to Javier once he was upon his horse.

"Yeah."

Looking to Bill he nodded who released Davey's mouth, the poor man looked exhausted and rightly so. His eyes were fluttering in and out of consciousness, Arthur was quick to gently slap his cheek.

"Hey now, you gotta stay awake, Davey." He stated before, as carefully and as gently as he could, hauled Davey into his arms bridal style.

Unable to help it, Arthur couldn't help but think that Davey was much heavier than John, and the unpleasant memory was quick to rebury itself as he took a breath and nodded to the other before using nearly all of his strength to toss Davey upward into Javier's arms who, thankfully, caught him without too many issues. Looking around quickly, Arthur noted a stranger's horse tied up next to the back door, it was obviously agitated from the ruckus but Arthur didn't hesitate in untying it and mounting up.

It thrashed around for a moment but Arthur hushed the beast softly and patted its neck for a few moments before it calmed and he looked up to Dutch.

"Hosea and I broke off so he could warn everyone else, we should go meet up with them now." He stated, seeing Dutch take a breath.

"Good, smart of you two... Let's get gone before they catch on to our distraction." Dutch mentioned before kicking The Count.

Distraction..? What distraction? Arthur frowned but followed without argument. There was no way that he and Hosea were going to be able to do their business now which only pissed him off, but right now Arthur was more concerned with getting Davey some medical attention if there was anything to be done for him... It was a hell of a way to go being shot in the gut, and without an actual doctor in their ranks... Arthur worried about Davey's final outcome.

He looked over occasionally as they galloped out of Blackwater, they were followed by a few remaining bounty hunters but with the group united they were taken care of relatively quickly but he made sure to look behind them often just in case. Going from the buildings to the open plains made Arthur feel a bit better but they were far from out of the woods. Their pursuers would be back and in far greater numbers, they wouldn't stop...

Things almost seemed like they had calmed down until once again they heard shooting from behind them. Arthur gasped since he was in the rear and looked behind him, this time the Pinkertons had assembled again and were chasing them down. There was no way they'd be able to outrun all of them... But if they could requisition the rest of the able-bodied people from camp they could have a fighting chance after all...

"Keep goin'!" Arthur yelled.

"Are you crazy, Arthur!?" John asked.

"We can't do this alone! We need Lenny and Charles!" Arthur replied.

Dutch frowned at the prospect of leading such a large entity to camp, but thankfully a decent idea popped into his head for once and he pulled back on his horse a bit to get closer to Arthur.

"Do you think some of you will be able to hold them off with me while the rest of us ride ahead and warn everyone!?" He asked.

Arthur blinked as he looked around, John was wounded and Davey desperately needed to get treatment... But with Bill, Micah and Dutch they could at least push them back for a little while, he nodded quickly knowing this was at least doable.

"Bill! Micah! You're with me and Dutch! John and Javier! You two ride to camp and get everyone movin'! Now!" He barked, John frowned slightly.

"I-I can still fight!"

"Don't argue, John!" Dutch replied seriously.

John bit his lip but nodded as he looked to Javier and kicked Gypsy forward as Javier raced to keep up with him while Dutch and the others began to slow down. John's heart began racing as he looked behind him, watching their group disappear. They _had_ to get out of here... John then took another moment to look over at Javier who carried Davey's body, he seemed almost if not unconscious.

The longer they rode, the more anxious John became until the smallest light of the campfire came into the distance and great relief filled his core. He could see as they approached everyone was already packing up thanks to Hosea and they were bustling around but the danger that was coming would no longer wait for them.

"Hosea!" John cried, watching as the older man stopped in his tracks as he carried a basket of cloth however he dropped it immediately upon seeing Davey's condition on Javier's horse.

"Jesus what the hell happened!?" He gasped as he ran toward them. "Miss Grimshaw!" He called.

"No! No there's no time!" John quickly panted as he climbed off the horse. "Just get him in a caravan we have to go now!"

"Slow down John, Davey has to get patched up!" Susan growled.

"Y-You don't understand-"

Many pops were beginning in the distance, it sounded like straight up war, causing Abigail to gasp and pull Jack close to her as well as causing everyone to begin panicking.

"Drop everything!" Hosea then called to everyone. "If it's not essential! Leave it behind!"

"Lenny! Charles!" John then called, watching the two run toward him.

"What can we do, John?" Charles asked calmly as opposed to everyone around him.

"Yeah! Just tell us where to go!" Lenny agreed.

"We just need to be ready. We need to get the caravans outta here! Dutch, Arthur, Micah and Bill are holding them off now." John explained.

"Where's Sean and Mac?" Lenny asked furrowing his brows slightly, but when John didn't answer he frowned. "Oh."

"It doesn't matter now." Charles stated seriously, looking over to Lenny who quickly nodded once more, his energy returning.

"Th-They could be alive, honestly I don't know it all happened so fast and I was useless anyway." John sighed, looking away.

"You're hurt." Charles observed. "You and Hosea should coordinate the wagons and get Davey to safety, Lenny and I will wait for the others and do whatever we can to hold the bastards off." He explained, watching John marvel at him for a moment.

Charles was always so calm, cool, and collected, John never understood where he got it from. He, himself, had a history of buckling under pressure. So to see Charles so centered and able to come up with a plan that made sense on the spot without even having to think about it... It impressed John and despite wanting to help them fight back, he knew Charles' plan made more sense.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Of course!" Lenny mused with a grin. "Pinkertons ain't nothin' anyway." He snickered.

"Don't let your guard down, c'mon." Charles mentioned before he and Lenny began jogging north to take cover and wait to ambush any enemies that could show up.

Taking a breath, John looked back toward the direction of the shooting one last time before he ran forward to get any last-minute supplies they had available... And secretly praying to god that everyone was alright... Well everyone except for maybe Micah.

"I'm almost outta bullets!" Bill yelled as he reloaded behind a rock beside Micah.

"Well if you could aim, maybe we wouldn't have this problem!" Micah taunted.

"Shut the hell up, Micah!" Arthur snarled as he counted his supply, he was running short as well and they couldn't keep this stance forever.

It had only been five minutes since they had stayed behind but they were already being bombarded and overrun by a shower of bullets. Their only saving grace was that they were in the shelter of pinewood. They always tried to set up somewhere with natural defenses like a forest or bayou, though Arthur preferred the mountains himself. He couldn't even think at the moment let alone fantasize about the Grizzlies.

"We need to pull back!" Dutch groaned.

"Already!?" Micah asked.

"If we run outta bullets we die, gentlemen! Move back!" Dutch ordered.

While Arthur didn't like being on the defense, they didn't have a choice. Inch by inch, they were pushed back further and further toward the campsite, and sweat formed at Arthur's brow praying that Jack was somewhere in a safe place along with Abigail and John... Even after all these years, Arthur still desperately wanted to protect that fucker. As a piece of metal flew by his face Arthur was reminded to focus on the task at hand. However, all at once, it seemed like more bullets from _their_ side of the conflict began flying at the Pinkerton agents.

"Charles! Lenny!" Dutch almost seemed to gasp out with relief, causing Arthur to glance over to see the other fellows coming up by their side.

"Sorry, we're late!" Charles replied.

"We weren't expectin' this!" Lenny chortled.

"How's it going back there!?" Arthur asked.

"Not great! We still weren't even all packed up when John and Javier got back!"

"Shit... Bill! Arthur! Retreat! Make sure everyone is up off their ass and moving _out!_ No excuses!"

"B-But-"

"Go Arthur!" Dutch commanded.

Despite his initial resistance, he _was_ running low on ammunition. Knowing there was more back at camp it only made sense for Arthur and Bill to go stock back up and wait for the rest of them to catch up and continue to hold them off while the caravan train escaped.

"Be careful!" Arthur scoffed before he and Bill began sprinting back toward camp, weaving through the trees as they did so to throw off their attackers.

Thankfully with neither of them returning with a bullet in the back of their head Arthur doubled over for a moment panting from the near adrenaline.

"Arthur!" Abigail gasped, running up to him and resting her hands on his shoulder gently. "W-Were you shot!?"

"No, I'm alright... W-We gotta get movin'! Where's the boy?" He asked.

"With Tilly, Karen, and Jenny in the second wagon!" Abigail replied, giving Arthur much reassurance.

"Good, go on and get with him, we're goin' now, where's Hosea and John?"

"Hosea is up ahead and John was helpin' loadin' Davey in the Caravan with Miss Grimshaw, I'm probably gonna help her with him." She recounted, watching Arthur nod.

"Good, go then girl." Arthur dismissed, watching her run up to get situated.

With that in mind, Arthur jogged up past the caravans, noting Hosea standing at the head, his eyes lighting up on Arthur's return.

"A-Arthur-"

"Get them going!" Arthur quickly interjected.

"W-What? Are you sure!? We don't even have-"

"They're here! We gotta go! Everyone! Listen up! If you're not on a horse or in a wagon in the next ten seconds you'll be left behind! Let's go!"

Hosea blinked with shock but didn't doubt Arthur's decision; he just climbed up into the driver's seat in the lead. On Arthur’s order, he snapped the reins and soon the wagons began to creak as they moved. Unbeknownst to him in the second caravan, Jack hunkered down with the girls but as they began moving the young boy gasped softly and quickly crawled to the back where the opening was while the girls desperately tried to situate the items inside.

"W-Wait! My book!" Jack exclaimed as he quickly jumped off the wagon.

"Jack no!" Tilly cried.

Jenny gasped as she looked out, watching the young boy run across the open empty campsite. He was basically a sitting duck... Without hesitation, Jenny hurled herself out of the wagon and sprinted after Jack. The shooting was only getting closer and she'd never be able to forgive herself if Jack had gotten injured or worse.

At hearing Tilly scream his son's name, John quickly looked over now that Davey was situated and was horrified to see no other than Jenny running after him. Thankfully, Jenny seemed to snatch his arm in her hand and yanking him into her arms quickly enough. John began running toward her to meet her half way, but before he could even react-

**_BANG._ **

Just like that, Jenny's body fell to the floor limp with Jack still in her arms.

"Oh god! Jack!" Abigail screamed as she too piled herself out of the wagon she was in.

"I-I'm stuck!" His little voice cried as John neared him while he tried to push Jenny's body off of him to no avail.

It appeared that Jenny had taken the bullet... And her corpse was holding Jack down on the ground.

"Pa! Pa help me!" Jack begged, his voice in such distress that it tore John up to his core as he knelt and carefully rolled Jenny off of Jack to see if she was alright... She wasn't but he couldn't tell Jack that.

"Jack!" Abigail cried as she quickly grabbed him and held her close to him to cover the young boy, her eyes surfing over to Jenny as she did so, her hand came up to clasp over her mouth as she saw that Jenny's eyes were wide open... She was dead.

"Abigail!" Susan called, seeming to pull Abigail and John out of their shock and terror.

It was about this time that Arthur had seen what went down, his heart fell into his stomach and he too ran to their aid. Seeing Jenny's condition his soul shuddered but without a word, he reached down and scooped Jenny into his arms while he gently shoved John toward cover. Getting the message, John nodded before he himself did his best to cover Abigail and Jack while Arthur followed in tow.

With the relative safety of the caravans, John helped boost Abigail into the moving wagon with Jack in her arms while Arthur split off from them to put Jenny's body in with the third caravan in line with the Reverend while Bill drove.

"Take care of her!" He yelled as he, as gently as he could, transported the corpse.

"W-What the hell happened!?" Uncle gasped seeing Jenny's body.

"No time!"

With that, Arthur stopped and watched as the wagon train continued to leave, looking around briefly he noted that they had to leave one of the vehicles behind, arching a brow. Arthur approached it to see that it was their ammunition cache... While it would pain him to leave all this behind, at the moment it would serve them well in their fight for survival... Bullets were replaceable.

"Arthur!" John called as he approached, watching the other turn around.

"What're you doin'? Go with the rest of 'em." Arthur dismissed.

"What? And leave you here alone?" John asked, jumping as a bullet whizzed past the two of them, causing both John and Arthur alike to quickly take cover behind the abandoned wagon side by side.

Their shoulders brushed gently against one another as they both panted from sheer exhaustion alone. Glancing over, Arthur noted that John was still wounded and was probably still losing blood even if it was just little by little. He frowned before shaking his head.

"Go on... I'll be fine. Hosea will need you, I'll have Dutch and the rest of 'em." Arthur stated.

"B-But I've been fucking useless this whole time!" John exasperated.

"Yeah, and you'll be even more useless if you're dead... Go, John, it's alright. I'll be fine." He replied.

For the first time in... Arthur didn't even remember how long, John swallowed harshly and looked over to him.

"... Promise?"

Arthur averted his gaze just out of instinct from John's piercing eyes but rolling his own he nodded before glancing back over.

"Yeah, yeah... Go before you're left behind for real. I'll cover you." Arthur scoffed.

John was still hesitant but knowing he just had to go before he convinced himself otherwise he stood and ran like a bat out of hell back toward the trees in the direction of the caravan train whistling for Gypsy as he did so.

Arthur readied his guns but it seemed for the most part that Dutch and the others had _mostly_ kept the Pinkertons at bay... Jenny's death was a result of pure bad luck which only made Arthur feel shittier about it. However, seeing the forms of Micah, Lenny and Charles come out of the woods he readied his rifle but noting Dutch was nowhere to be seen his blood ran cold.

"Where's Dutch!?" He called as Charles got into cover near him.

"No clue! He disappeared not even a few minutes after me and Lenny met up with him and Micah!"

"He'll be fine! We just need to hold them off for him!" Micah barked.

"Goddammit, Dutch." Arthur growled softly to himself.

Despite his worry, it seemed that with Charles, Lenny, and Micah alone the small militia seemed to take out a good chunk in the Pinkerton numbers, but as the minutes ticked by painfully slowly and Dutch was nowhere to be seen he began getting more and more anxious. Who's to say Dutch didn't get shot while they were being pushed back? However, Dutch wasn't the only thing on their worries, soon the caravan that Arthur was hiding behind burst into flames forcing him into the open.

"Shit!" Arthur yelled but thankfully with Charles so close the other was able to provide enough cover for Arthur to hide behind a more robust tree; however due to needing his protection, Charles was now out of bullets...

"Damn! I'm out of bullets!" He cursed, but seeing the butt of a rifle sticking out of the burning carriage Charles didn't even think twice.

Taking hold of the wood butt, Charles pulled out the firearm but as his other hand came out to catch the metal barrel as soon as his skin came in contact with the weapon it sizzled causing Charles to cry out and drop the gun, falling back some as he cradled his hand.

"Charles!" Arthur gasped as the other crawled toward him out of the gunfire.

"Shit! My hand!" He groaned. "Stupid mistake..."

"It's alright! Just stay outta range... Where the hell is Dutch!?" Arthur snapped.

"Right here!" The familiar baritone of the missing man coming from his left as he saw Dutch coming out of the trees unscathed.

"Jesus where were you!?" Arthur growled.

“Hiding our earnings from these vultures Arthur! I did _not_ work that hard for them to get a goddamn payday!" Dutch scoffed.

"Well now that you're here! What's the plan!?" Arthur asked.

He knelt down to bandage one of Charles's appendages he grabbed from Susan before they left, if they kept up like this it would only get worse.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Gone, we managed to get them outta here before you showed up." Arthur replied.

"Good... As I was comin' back I saw one hell of a storm comin'." Dutch mentioned, watching his partner look up at him with furrowed brows.

"The hell does _that_ have to do with _this?"_

"Think about it! If we hold them here long enough, once we catch up and head toward the mountains, there's no way we'll be followed!"

"That's one hell of a gamble, Dutch..."

"Do we have any other options?"

Arthur thought about it and he frowned knowing Dutch was correct... But mountain blizzards were especially dangerous, it seemed like they were choosing their own demise rather than their escape, but he'd rather go out in a blizzard rather than giving these bastards the satisfaction of killing him. At least he managed to pull out some bullets before the caravan caught fire.

Hosea shivered slightly as they traveled forward, looking up into the sky and noticing a rather angry looking group of clouds gathering over them... It seems for now they had managed to get away from the shootout as he could no longer hear the popping of guns. This was blizzard weather but they couldn't risk stopping in such a risky location so close to their previous camp storm or not.

"Hosea." John called next to him as he rode upon Gypsy's back.

"I see it." Hosea replied a bit uneasily as he reached into the back of the caravan to pull out his winter coat. "Ride back and tell everyone to bundle up, this is gonna be a rough ride... And then, do you think you're well enough to ride ahead and maybe find somewhere for us to camp or make sure no ones awaiting our arrival?" He inquired.

John's heart fluttered realizing he was being given another chance to provide some kind of help. Without any reservations, he nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course, you can count on me, Hosea." John mentioned, but watching the older man smile tiredly, his body tensed.

"I know so... Go on now." He mused.

John sighed in relief seeing as Hosea had faith in him... It wasn't like anyone had blamed him for any of this but... If he had just avoided that bullet maybe he could have protected Davey or Jenny... _Something_ instead of being so incompetent.

Doing as he was instructed, John slowed Gypsy and as the caravans passed by him he called out to each one to get ready for harsh weather, noting Abigail holding Jack close to her ever since that _extremely_ close call with Jenny... Thankfully, Jack seemed to have calmed, probably having not realized the true gravity of what happened to Jenny which was probably for the best, he got out with only a little bit of dirt on his face from the fall.

John would always remain forever grateful to Jenny for saving his son... It all happened so fast he hadn't had time to process seeing it until seeing the final caravan past him that carried Jenny's body. He saw that Reverend Swanson had gently folded her arms over her chest and closed her eyes... It was like a punch to the gut, if he had been there to save his son...

Shaking his head, John quickly kicked Gypsy ahead back up to the front slipping on his jacket as he did so. Once he met up with Hosea for the final time, he said his goodbyes before kicking Gypsy into a gallop. He had to do this... He had to prove he was more than dead weight.

> I'm just a man but I know that I'm damned  
> All the dead seem to know where I am  
> A tale that began on the night of my birth  
> Will be done in a turn of the earth
> 
> Lie where I land let my bones turn to sand  
> I was born on the lake and I don't want to leave it  
> Every eye on the coast ever more  
> Will remember the sight of the ghost on the shore
> 
> Under the waves and the earth of an age  
> Lie a thousand old northerners graves  
> Deep in the night when the moon's glowing bright  
> They come rising up into the night
> 
> Die if I must let my bones turn to dust  
> I'm the Lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it  
> All who sail off the coast ever more  
> Will remember the tale of the ghost on the shore
> 
> I'm goin' away for a long time  
> I'm goin' away for a long time
> 
> Lie where I land let my bones turn to sand  
> I was born on the lake and I don't want to leave it  
> Every eye on the coast ever more  
> Will remember the sight of the ghost on the shore
> 
> Die if I must let my bones turn to dust  
> I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it  
> All who sail off the coast ever more  
> Will remember the tale of the ghost on the shore
> 
> I'm goin' away for a long time
> 
> source: [Ghost on the Shore by Lord Huron](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QthMaFm6-g&ab_channel=SkipperRadio)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Lemme just say I'm so grateful for all the support this story had gotten in just two chapters! Just wanted to say thanks so much for the kindness and hope you're enjoying it!  
> -Eros


	4. Until the Night Turns

"Are you _sure_ they went up this way, Arthur!?" Dutch called as the storm desperately tried to blow their horses away.

"I only saw the direction they went!" Arthur snapped as he continued riding.

"I told you, you shoulda had Bill come back to tell us where they were headed!" Micah groaned.

"I didn't see you steppin' in to make sure everyone got outta there, Micah." Arthur growled back.

"I wasn't steppin' in!? While I was holdin' off Pinkertons you were gatherin' the groceries!" Micah snarled.

"That's enough!" Dutch hollered. "This is _not_ the time to be arguin' about small things like this. We just need to focus on finding the rest of the folks. Arthur, let me lead!" He then ordered.

Arthur pulled back on his mount and watched Dutch carefully trot past him. They had just managed to get away by the skin of their teeth but now was the process of catching back up to Hosea and the rest of them in the middle of a snowstorm that was getting worse by the second. Arthur was more concerned about Charles' hand but the man rode with confidence, as usual, his bandaged hand was resting in his lap as opposed to holding onto Taima's reins. Then Davey's and John's injuries came to his mind and Arthur bit the tip of his tongue, only hoping everyone who managed to get out did so...

Unlike Jenny...

Arthur glanced back to Lenny as he rode, he was quiet like everyone else... But his eyes were cast downward... He was muted. It was no secret that Lenny had feelings for Jenny despite her hesitance for romance. It caused Micah to tease Lenny relentlessly about how _good_ she was in bed but Arthur was certain Jenny would never associate herself with the likes of Micah. It was just too bad to see her life be snuffed out before anything could develop between her and Lenny... They could have made each other happy, Lenny definitely deserved it... And she did too.

Arthur's eyes resumed themselves ahead of them as the events replayed themselves in his mind... He knew realistically there was no way that Jenny was able to be saved, the bullet pierced the back of her head and killed her instantly, she was truly just in a bad place at a bad time. Arthur exhaled slowly and reached up to cover his face with his bandana to help with the cold while they rode ahead.

He truly wasn't sure how long it had been... Minutes, hours... Days even? No, surely not but it sure felt like it as they rode through brutal winds and hazardous visibility. The horses were getting tired and so were the men. Arthur and Dutch especially, Dutch was already so tired... He reached up and rubbed his eyes painfully as he blinked often trying to keep his sleep-deprived lids open.

However, after what felt like centuries, the smallest light shone in the distance. Dutch paused briefly, worried that it was a blockade up ahead, but leading his company forward he was more than relieved to see that it was their caravan trained stopped up ahead in the cover of some trees. Bill and Pearson were desperately trying to smoke while keeping watch over the temporary set-up when they looked up and saw Dutch with the missing men in question Bill gasped.

"Dutch!" He called.

"Dutch is back!" Pearson hollered.

"I am, why the hell are we stopped!?" Dutch asked.

"They had to, I guess Davey is in a real bad way." Pearson replied.

Arthur frowned as he slipped off his mount to give the horse some time off the saddle while Dutch and the rest of them mirrored his actions to stretch their legs and check in with the caravans. Arthur turned to Charles who held his injured hand briefly.

"Why don't you take a load off in one of the wagons? We'll hitch Taima up, you shouldn't be ridin' with that." He mentioned.

"It's alright, the cold is helping with that at least." Charles responded stoically as he led his mare out of the snowfall.

Arthur watched the darker-skinned man trudge away with a thoughtful expression, Charles had one hell of a spirit and Arthur had always meant to talk to him more... But the months recently had posed challenging to get _any_ time to himself let alone idle conversation. However, recalling Davey's injuries and wondering where Hosea had got to, he followed in the direction that Dutch went only _somewhat_ looking around for John. He also had an injury, after all, reaching up Arthur ran a hand through his hair and replacing his hat while he saw Jack sitting with Mary-Beth, Tilly, and Karen off to the side probably to keep him from seeing the intense medical work ahead of Susan and Abigail.

Walking toward the caravan, he rounded the back and looked in to see Dutch inside sitting next to Davey... Pearson was right... He looked bad.

"W-... Where's Mac?" Davey asked weakly.

"He..." Dutch mumbled, trailing off softly as he reached down and carefully checked the other's wound, he’d be lucky to survive until morning. "... He's catchin' up, don't you worry." He replied softly with a small sad smile as he clutched the other's weak hand.

"Good... Thanks, Dutch." Davey mumbled softly while Abigail and Susan sat by silently, they had done all they could.

Dutch frowned, he didn't deserve Davey's thanks especially not now when he was going to die because of his foolish choices... And Mac, who the hell knew if he was even still alive, and he lied right to Davey’s face. He knew why but... Dutch still didn't feel good about it.

"... Where's Hosea?" Arthur then asked softly, trying not to interrupt.

"Um, I-I think he was sortin' through what we managed to take with us up ahead..." Abigail muttered softly.

"Arthur, when you find him tell him to get us goin' again. I'll be out shortly." Dutch instructed, earning a small nod from Arthur before he departed the scene before him that threatened to make him nauseous.

As he walked away from the bloody mess that was once Davey Callender, Arthur made his way up ahead, checking up on people as he went. When he peeked his head into the front caravan, he noticed Hosea surfing through things like Abigail had mentioned. Arthur took a breath before hoisting himself inside as well, watching the older man glance back briefly before resuming what he was doing.

"Glad to see you're back. How'd it go?" Hosea inquired.

"Mostly okay, Charles burned his hand but overall, not bad." Arthur replied evenly.

"You'd call _this,_ not bad?" Hosea scoffed.

"That's not what I said." Arthur replied.

"I know... Sorry, Arthur, it's not you." Hosea sighed as he paused once again to turn to face Arthur completely and fall back onto his rear before reaching up and rubbing his forehead. "It's just... We're sittin' ducks out here with barely any food, spare clothing, blankets, _anything_... We'll be lucky if we even meet up with John again." He sighed.

"Wait-wait, what? What do you mean?" Arthur asked.

"I sent John ahead of us, hopefully, to find us a place to hunker down, but the storm got so bad so fast, I'm worried that he got just as lost." Hosea explained.

"Or he's usin' this as a convenient excuse to ditch us again..." Arthur grumbled quietly.

"Come on, Arthur that ain't fair."

"It wouldn't be the first time." He scoffed.

"Be that as it may, even if he tried to run there's no way he's gettin' off this mountain. The Pinkertons were smart not to follow us... If I had any idea it would be this bad I wouldn't have sent John." Hosea mentioned, obviously feeling guilty.

"Calm down, old man... If John's taught us anything is he's tougher than he looks... No matter how hard anything tries to kill him the bastard just keeps gettin' back up." Arthur snorted.

"I guess you're right about one thing." Hosea chuckled softly.

"Bout time you noticed... C'mon let's get goin' again before we get stuck here." Arthur mused, reaching over and gently patting Hosea's shoulder before standing and offering a hand to the older man.

* * *

Within an hour of the start of his trip, John could barely see five feet in front of him let alone tell where he was going or find his way back. He thought about turning back but the likelihood of running back into his party was slim to none and he would just get more lost. John quickly put up his hood and shivered as he slipped on his gloves while Gypsy did her best to navigate the rough conditions. She misstepped a few times, eventually causing John to look for a spot to take a break and maybe _try_ to wait out the harsh blizzard that was making itself at home in the mountains the longer he traveled.

The sky was dark and the wind soared, John struggled to squint as he managed to light his lantern and look desperately for a place to hunker down. All he could see was barren nothingness... Where was he? He knew he was heading northeast when he left but in the chaos of the blizzard, there was no telling if he had taken a wrong turn. He shivered and looked around until the sound of rushing water managed to peak over the roading wind.

Guiding Gypsy toward it slowly, John eventually came upon a waterfall, somewhat shaded with some trees and rock. Knowing that this was as good as he was going to get and already feeling a radiating numbness in his fingers and toes, John carefully dismounted Gypsy and led her to better cover while he did as best as he could to make a campfire. For once, John was grateful for his experience in his isolation those years ago. The lessons he learned were serving him well and despite the original resistance of the flame, John eventually managed a decent fire going.

It would flicker occasionally and John knew that if he wanted to keep it going, that meant no sleep... And while that prospect wasn't very pleasing, an eerie howl echoed in the darkness of the forest around him, followed by two more... Wolves.

John swallowed harshly as he looked around him, there was no way he'd be sleeping tonight. They sounded close, and if they were out in such a storm like this, they were _hungry._ Out of instinct, John got up and carefully brought Gypsy closer to the fire just to keep her a bit safer since the wolves didn't appreciate fire so much. When he plopped back down onto his rear end, John sighed and reached up, rubbing his irritated freezing eyes as the warmth of the fire billowed over him. John held out his hands and warmed them greedily while making sure the fire was fed.

It was quiet for a long time after that... John wasn't sure which was worse, hearing the wolves or hearing nothing at all but the silence of a winter forest... It was just as haunting, it felt like it was trying to swallow John up into it. Taking a deep breath, John forced himself to relax as best he could, the wind wasn't as terrible in this position giving him ample time to at least think about his next move, but his thoughts eventually meandered to how bored he was... He hadn't been alone like this in he couldn't even remember when.

Leaning back against a fallen tree, John sighed softly and watching the mist billow up from his lips. The silence was deafening and suddenly John was hit with a harsh reminder of how alone he felt... How in the hell did he put himself through this for almost a year?

_It feels meaningless, don't it?_

He wasn't sure why Uncle's voice popped into his head... But even so, it was true and John's eyes slowly fluttered shut as he thought of how shitty things had been the last few months in particular. He _loved_ his son... There was nothing against Jack, but he and Abigail didn't go together like they once did, and he knew that was also his fault. Arthur disdained him, Abigail tolerated him, sometimes he wondered why he stuck around... But then he had moments like this when all he wanted was to be with them and prayed to God they were okay.

John didn't remember shutting his eyes for _that_ long... Until an inhuman cry into the night air, an animal that easily scared the _shit_ out of John sounded _unusually_ close. When his dark eyes snapped open, he gasped as he looked down at his makeshift fire pit and realized that it was barely smoldering now. How did he fall asleep!?

Gypsy was whinnying in distress and shuffling in place with discomfort as she was tied up to a tree, but even _she_ sensed their presence. John panicked as he desperately began to attempt to revive his dying fire. He could hear the woods moving around him... There was a pack circling him there was no doubt in John's mind. His breaths were frantic as he heard a twig snap not even fifteen feet to his right. He didn't dare look up, too frightened of what he'd see.

"C'mon, c'mon, please..!" He whispered as he loaded the fire up with any flammable materials he had on his person which included his map, lucky rabbit's foot, crackers and finally when he thought all was lost, John added a little bit of oil from his lamp, causing just the smallest uproar of flames, exposing the many sets of eyes on him in the woods.

Sweat was forming at John's forehead from the sheer stress of the situation, adding whatever wood he had immediately at his disposal, which wasn't much, he just had to reignite the logs that were smoldering underneath it all and he'd be fine. John looked out again as the fire began dying down, there were seven... At least seven pairs of eyes...

John looked quickly back down at his fire, finally giving a small sigh of relief seeing the steadily crackling and billowing once more. He thought he was safe... But a growl in the cover of the pines caught John's attention. It seemed that the wolves were feeling particularly brave and didn't see John's fire as enough of a threat. Gypsy would be a good meal for them, including John himself.

Slowly, the gigantic forms of the wolves slinked out of the forest. John had always respected wolves, but when he was on the other side of the hunt they were _much_ scarier... They almost looked like they were enjoying teasing him, making his last hours nothing but pure terror, but their patience was wearing thin. They wanted him... But John wouldn't go down without a fight. Quickly reaching down, John grabbed a hold of one of the burning sticks and stood up, taking a few steps forward and waving the fire around, releasing a loud roar-like yell.

"Get back!" He hollered, lunging somewhat toward them and watching the canines scatter momentarily only to begin the prowl again.

The process went on for a painstakingly long five minutes, it felt like hours as they would begin advancing on him again but it seemed his will would outlast theirs. Eventually, the wolves scattered fully and back into the darkness of cover. John panted heavily, his knees nearly shaking with fear.

Only when John was _sure_ that the wolves had gone did he return to where he was sitting and add the stick back into the fire. This wasn't _nearly_ what he was expecting when Hosea asked him to find a place for the gang to camp. He nearly collapsed when he sat back down and reached up with a fabric-covered hand to wipe the last of the sweat that had gathered near his temples. There was no way he could have been asleep that long... Forty-five minutes at the maximum... The wolves had tracked him quickly, he'd have to be careful and stay awake no matter what...

* * *

The pace of the newly reunited group was _tortuously_ slow. The wind along with having to be careful with the extent of Davey's injuries rendered their pace sluggish. After John's disappearance hours before, Dutch and Hosea were hesitant to send out anyone else, but with their speed being so slow they had to get a direction to cut down any wasted time. First was Micah, then about an hour later Arthur soon followed as he was the last man able enough that wasn't already occupied with something else.

Eventually, from behind, Reverend Swanson carefully stepped out of the second caravan where Davey was being held in. He walked up, able to catch up with Hosea and Dutch up front easily enough.

"Abigail says he's dyin', Dutch. We'll have to stop someplace!" He implored.

"Okay! Arthur's out lookin'! I sent him up ahead." Dutch notified with a nod.

"If we don't stop soon we'll all be dyin'. This weather, it's May... I'm just hoping the law gets lost as we did." Hosea groaned softly as Dutch held onto the reins before a shadow appeared in the distance, piquing Hosea's interest, motioning vaguely for Dutch relief finally filled the two men once again as Arthur appeared in front of them.

"There. Arthur! Any luck?" Dutch called out.

"I found a place where we can get some shelter! Let Davey rest while he... You know." Arthur murmured, knowing Davey's health had taken a decline just before he left. "An old mining town, abandoned, it ain't far. Come on!" He beckoned as he turned around to begin leading them toward their saving grace.

The place was far from perfect, but it had four walls and a roof, which was good enough for the moment. Thankfully only another ten minutes or so of a snail's pace in the blizzard, the structures of broken-down buildings appeared in the distance. Arthur was just thankful to get out of the wind... As everyone began dismounting, Hosea quickly made his way to the largest building in front of him and carefully swung the door that barely hung on the hinges. His gun was drawn and ready to fire but as Arthur relayed, this place had been abandoned for a long time.

"Bring him in here!" Hosea called, soon followed by Abigail along with Bill and Arthur who quickly carried a motionless Davey inside on a stretcher.

"Miss Gaskill... get that fire lit quick. Miss Jones, bring in whatever blankets we have. Mr. Pearson, see what we've got in terms of food." Susan instructed as one by one people came inside to get out of the freezing wind.

Abigail's hands gently rested upon Jack's shoulders and guided him inside, as Davey was carefully sat upon a still-standing frame of what was a storage container. Dutch counted people one by one until he was certain everyone was in the safety of the building. However as Abigail approached Davey she noted his form was still and stiff, causing her to pause briefly as she hesitantly leaned down to listen for any form of life within him... Nothing. Suddenly feeling a panic rise up within her that she had never felt before… Knowing now that _two_ of the people she had shared breakfast with not even two days ago were now dead. Abigail straightened up almost abruptly and turned to the crowd.

"... Davey's dead." She announced in the harrowing quiet of people shuffling around, causing everyone to pause in their movements as well, another casualty.

"There was... Nothing more you could have done." Swanson attempted to console as Bill took initiative to reach into his bag and pull out two silver dollars and gently lay them over Davey's closed eyelids.

"What're we gonna do, we need supplies..." Hosea mentioned, addressing the more important topic of discussion.

“Well, first of all you're gonna stay here... And you are gonna get yourself warm. Now, I know you sent John and Micah scouting up ahead. Arthur and I, we're gonna ride out and see if we can find one of 'em." Dutch explained, watching Arthur sport a rather dumbfounded expression as he glanced over to the door.

"In this?" He questioned, watching Dutch copy his action and looking over to the door briefly before looking back to him.

"... Just for a short bit. I don't see what other choice we have." Dutch assured before turning and looking upon every one that had been following him loyally, some for months, others years, but that didn't matter so much to Dutch, he knew he had to establish some kind of hope. "Listen... Listen to me all of you, for a moment." He announced calmly to get everyone's attention.

"Now, we've had... Well, a bad couple of days. I loved Davey... Jenny... Sean, Mac, they may be okay, we don't know... But we've lost some folks... Now, if I could throw myself in the ground in their stead... I'd do it... Gladly, but... We're gonna ride out, and we are gonna find some food... Everybody, we're safe now, there ain't nobody following us through a storm like this one... And by the time they get here well we're gonna be... We're gonna be long gone. We've been through worse than this before. Mr. Pearson, Miss Grimshaw, I need you to turn this place into a camp. We may be here for a few days, now all of you... All of you..! Get yourselves warm. Stay strong. Stay with _me_. We ain't done yet!" He insisted with confidence that reminded Arthur much of Dutch's youth, it made him a little proud, to say the least.

However, as soon as the moment came, it went. Dutch soon turned around and began walking toward the door and looking to Arthur with expectancy.

"C'mon, Arthur." Dutch ordered as he swung open the door, Arthur nodded quickly before gently clapping Hosea's back for consolation and following after Dutch when a question once again popped into his head. "Well, we ain't run into them yet. So... they both must have headed down the hill." Dutch mentioned off-handedly.

"Sure. Hey... I ain't had time to ask. What _really_ went down back there on that boat?" Arthur inquired seriously.

"We missed you... That's what happened. Come on." Dutch dismissed rather quickly, causing Arthur to slightly roll his eyes and follow after Dutch once more as they began walking into what felt like death itself.

"Hey!" Charles' voice suddenly cut through the snow. "You need horses?" He offered, leading both The Count as well as his own Taima toward Dutch and Arthur.

"Oh yeah, and Mr. Smith, get yourself indoors. You need to rest that hand." Dutch instructed as he climbed up into the saddle with Arthur in tow upon Taima.

"I'll live." Charles commented plainly.

"Get indoors, son! I-... _We_ need you strong." Dutch explained with rather clear transparency, Charles' brows arched only slightly but he nodded.

"Okay." He acknowledged as he watched both Arthur and Dutch begin riding into the blurry darkness.

"Alright, let's head out." Dutch commented, kicking The Count into a trot.

"Ain't sure what we're gonna find out here, Dutch."

"We have to try. Stay close, we'll do our best to stick to the trail."

"This goddamn weather..!"

"Heard it's been two days or more like this now. Oh, it has to blow over soon."

Eventually, all conversation ceased as Arthur kicked Taima to keep up next to Dutch, normally he'd follow behind the other but Arthur genuinely worried if he tried he'd lose Dutch in the blizzard... The two crossed a flimsy-looking bridge warily and rode along the river, using it as a guide.

"Can't believe we lost Davey too..." Arthur couldn't help but mutter.

"He's the last one, Arthur. No more. We need to get those people warm and fed." Dutch stated, his tone hard and passionate.

"Least we don't need to worry about Pinkertons tailing us in this." Arthur mentioned, trying to help lighten the mood a little.

"A couple more days, we'll be on the other side. You need to help me pick the others back up. You're the only one I can rely on to stay strong right now." Dutch said with a frown, but Arthur had heard this speech before, and _like before_ he was already ready and willing to do so.

"We got fire and shelter, that's a start." He mused, however not long after Dutch pulled back on his reins and narrowed his eyes as he held his lantern upward.

"Wait, is that someone coming towards us?" He inquired, Arthur stopping beside him. "You, up ahead! Who's there?" He called out, and after a moment's apprehension, Arthur would be lying if he said he wasn't relieved to see Micah emerging from the mist.

"Micah." Dutch stated with obvious reprieve.

"Gentlemen." Micah greeted back dryly.

"Found anything?" Dutch inquired.

"I think so. Found a little homestead down thataway." Micah informed as he approached the two on horseback.

"Okay. Anyone home?" Dutch asked curiously.

"Sure. Place is blazing with light and noise. Sounded like a party." Micah mused, making Arthur arch a brow, a party in this storm?

"Let's go see."

"Follow me." Micah mentioned as he turned his mount around to lead them. "How's Davey doing?" He then asked.

"Ah, he didn't make it. Nor did little Jenny." Dutch sighed mournfully.

"That's too bad. Davey was a real fighter. Both of them Callander boys is-or... Was." Micah snorted almost distastefully.

Arthur tuned out a lot of the bullshit between Micah and Dutch as he focused on simply staying upright on Taima. Reaching down, he gently patted the mare's neck as he heard Micah ask something about Mac and Sean when a certain long-haired oaf popped into Arthur's head. Despite his better judgment, Arthur couldn't help but ask.

"Ask him if he's seen John..!" Arthur called up ahead.

"Hey, have you seen John, Micah?" Dutch asked.

"Didn't see much of anything once this storm came in!" Micah replied.

"He hasn't seen him." Dutch relayed back for good measure, and even though Arthur despised his concern for the other man, a large pit of worry began forming in his gut.

"He'll be fine. Things always turn out right for that boy." He dismissed, knowing that supplies for the group were more important at the moment.

"I hope... Mac and Sean are still out there somewhere too." Dutch sighed, making Arthur silently mirror the sentiment as he continued thinking of John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been receiving so much support on earlier parts in the series and seeing new readers catching up and lemme just say thank you so so much! Every comment always fills me with such joy! I hope these chapters have been worth the wait and I'm SO happy to finally be in the game!  
> -Eros


	5. Wolves and Widows

"Okay, let's keep it down now, gentlemen. It's just up ahead."

Arthur glanced up as Micah mentioned they were close to this apparent party, Micah wasn't exactly the most trusted source of information. He could _barely_ be trusted to keep his head and follow simple orders when the heat was at the door.

"Snuff and stash those lanterns, boys. Best you two lie low on this." Dutch stated as they approached what looked like a modest cottage, but there was plenty of smoke billowing from the chimney.

Arthur did as he was ordered but... Something about this place didn't feel right. He wasn't really sure why, but there was a slight sense of foreboding the closer and closer they got to the house. There was _definitely_ something going on, he could hear voices and sounds of mirth going on inside the cabin even from a good distance off. Leading the horses to cover, Arthur tied up Taima and reached down to his hip. When he felt the security of his revolver, he glanced to Dutch.

"Let me do the talking, we don't wanna scare these folks." Dutch mused almost playfully as he got his lantern back out.

"Someone's having fun in there." Micah noted as they approached.

"You two, get yourself out of sight... One lonely man is a lot less intimidating than three nasty looking degenerates. Arthur, in that cattle shed on the left. Micah, get down behind that wagon in front." Dutch instructed.

Arthur glanced at Micah and the two nodded to one another before they broke away from Dutch and into their respective hiding places. Arthur's eyes honed in on Dutch as he walked closer to the front.

"Hello!" Dutch called out as he neared the steps.

"Shut up, Billy! Shh!" A muffled voice shushed inside.

"Excuse me! Hello?" Dutch attempted once more as Arthur carefully peeked up to observe the situation, watching the front door swing open and an unfamiliar face walk outside.

"Oh well, hello friend." Dutch greeted almost meekly.

"What you want?" The stranger growled.

"I am very sorry to disturb you. Uh... My friends and I, well we got into, some... Trouble up the way. Lost in the storm." Dutch explained carefully.

However as Arthur watched the scene unfold in front of them, he noticed Micah shuffling around slightly, lifting up a sheet that covered the wagon he was hiding behind.

"Arthur... Arthur, we got a problem." He muttered. "There's a corpse right here. Arthur... There's a body in the wagon."

Arthur's blood ran cold at that notification, he knew there was something off about this place. A party in the middle of a storm like this? A hostile greeting? Something was really wrong here.

"Yeah, I hear you, just... Keep your eyes on Dutch." Arthur instructed softly as he reached down and slowly pulled his gun out of its holster, pulling back the hammer.

"Now, I-I just need some cans of food or something. Gentlemen... Please." Dutch tried to barter.

"I think you should go now, buddy." The stranger stated seriously, taking a threatening step forward.

"Now, friend... I ain't asking for much. Please, I am... Kinda desperate." Dutch admitted, but it was at this point that the man took another step and seemed to be observing Dutch's face, causing the ebony-haired man back up a pace with some obvious discomfort, making Arthur frown further at the situation.

"Hey... I don't believe it! Come here, partner. Come here!" The man commanded, making Arthur's heart skip a beat as Dutch hesitantly took a small step forward, but what happened next happened so fast Arthur barely had time to react, without warning the stranger reached down to his hip. "It's goddamn Dutch van der Linde, you moron! Colm is going to shit his pants. Put your hands up!"

Without any hesitation, Arthur stood up gun in hand. Pulling the trigger, his first bullet pierced the skull of the man daring to point a gun at Dutch starting the firefight. Taking the advantage of Arthur covering him, Dutch ran to get in cover as Micah then stood and began shooting as well. Despite that they were outnumbered, the O'Driscoll's that had taken up in the cabin were drunk and other things alike... They never stood a chance from the beginning.

"That's my boy, Arthur!" Dutch praised with obvious joy and satisfaction before looking over the deceased lying in the snow as Arthur and Micah approached him once the shooting finally stopped. "Goddamn O'Driscoll's boys here? Why?" He scoffed.

"I don't know, maybe same reason as us." Micah mentioned offhandedly.

"Micah, go bring the horses closer to the house. Arthur, let's go search the cabin." Dutch suggested, motioning Arthur to follow him.

The first thing to hit Arthur was the warmth coupled with the various smells that permeated the room. Smells of tobacco, moonshine, and other liquors alike and some smells that even he wasn't exactly familiar with. All he knew is these boys died feeling _great_.

"Smells like a party in here." He observed as he and Dutch went to work raiding the home.

"Turn the place upside down, grab as many supplies as you can. We need the essentials. Food, medicine... Whiskey." Dutch mused with an obvious smirk to his tone as he snatched a bottle, but eventually he scoffed as he walked over the bodies of their dead rivals. "O'Driscolls! I don't believe it."

"It's a strange one alright. Maybe they're hiding up here too. There's a big price on Colm O'Driscoll's head... Nearly as big as the one on yours." Arthur mused with a small grin as he glanced over.

"Wanting Colm dead is about the only thing me and Uncle Sam agree on." Dutch grumbled softly as they continued ransacking the place.

"Place is dry, and warm, we could maybe move the women and Jack down here." Arthur mentioned, the heat from the fireplace warming up his stiff frame, he didn't want Jack to get sick after all.

"Maybe. We'll see how they are when we get back. I don't really want us to split up." Dutch said somewhat dismissively, but Arthur agreed with that sentiment all the same as the two of them followed one another outside. "Arthur, go ahead and search that barn, Micah search the cabin and see if there's anything we missed." He mentioned.

Walking through the brute force of the wind once more, Arthur wordlessly acknowledged Dutch's order and shuffled through the almost knee-high snow toward the barn. As he got to the door, Arthur reached forward with gloved hands, and with what little strength he felt he had left, Arthur shoved the door open. Once it slid along its old hinges, Arthur shivered softly before glancing up and noting a rather beautiful stallion in the stall. He was distracted and not prepared for the literal man to dive down on top of him and force him to the ground rather painfully.

Thankfully for Arthur's reflexes, they kicked in once more and as the stranger attempted to climb on top of him, Arthur's knee came up to force the man off of him giving him enough time to at least get on his feet. It seemed they hadn't gotten rid of all of them after all.

"You bastards shot my cousin!" The man yelled ferociously.

"Well, he started it!" Arthur defied with exasperation.

"I'm going to break your neck!"

Arthur didn't take kindly to threats, but without even limbering up he began throwing punches forward and doing whatever he could to throw the other man off-center. It was about this time that Dutch casually walked around and leaned against the doorway lantern in hand.

"What's going on?" He asked curiously.

"This guy just jumped me..!" Arthur sneered as he landed a rather angry hit across the other man's jaw.

"Oh, did he now?" Dutch chortled, watching as Arthur finished the encounter with a right hook, sending the man to the floor.

"Sneaky little bastard... Should I kill him?" He inquired, huffing quietly to catch his breath as he reached up and rubbed his face briefly.

"No... Not yet... Find out what they're doing here, and where Colm is." Dutch ordered seriously as he got up off the door frame and glared down at the O'Driscoll that Arthur was standing over.

"Oh, this son of a bitch'll talk..." The younger man snarled before kneeling down and grabbing a fistful of the stranger's shirt roughly. "Where's Colm O'Driscoll?" He asked, watching the weaker man breathe and pathetically try to lift his head.

"With the others... At an old mining camp southwest of here, near the lake..." He groaned weakly.

"What are you bastards doing? _Why_ are you up here?" Arthur interrogated as he reared back his fist, making the other man flinch.

"W-We're fixing to rob some train gonna blow the tracks... I don't know more than that, I swear!" He whined, nearly trembling beneath Arthur, and hearing a rich laugh beside him, the menacing outlaw looked over as Dutch nodded to him.

"Well, I would say it looks like you have this, Arthur. Do what you want with him, I don't care. But bring that horse when you're done." He advised before sauntering off back toward the cabin and leaving Arthur to his devices.

Back in his youth, Arthur would have had no problem snuffing out this man's entire existence but... As he looked down to the man that cowered beneath him, Arthur suddenly realized it wasn't really worth it. This _life_ wasn't worth ending over a damn feud that had been going on longer than they can remember... So with that thought in mind, Arthur huffed before shoving the man away and standing up.

"Get the hell outta here. Go." He commanded without room for argument.

Thankfully the man did exactly as Arthur told him and without another word shared, he scrambled up and began sprinting away into the snow. Arthur glared after him before shaking his head and meandering over to his revolver that had fallen from his person during the scuffle as well as retrieving his hat. Only once his hat was comfortably protecting his head and ears did he turn toward the rather stressed out horse. He was thrashing his head around and snorting in distress.

"Whoa, whoa there... Easy now boy." Arthur cooed softly as he began walking toward the small animal stall. "It's alright now... Them O'Driscolls don't know how to treat horses do they?" He inquired as he put his hands up and carefully shushed the massive animal.

Once he seemed to calm, Arthur slowly opened the gate and slipped inside, reaching up and running his hand over the stallion's neck and patting him gently. Arthur caught the animal's reins and slowly led him out of the barn and back toward the small group of horses gathered in cover.

"You let him go, huh? Saw the little bastard scurrying off." Dutch crooned

"Yeah, figured he won't get far this anyway." Arthur explained mildly.

Dutch grinned as Arthur hitched the stallion up, at least there were some supplies they were able to grab from inside, and with a new horse they could be doing worse... Well... They _were_ already doing pretty bad. However, before Dutch could even speak with Arthur on the subject, a shriek of bloody-murder came from inside the cabin, causing Dutch to race inside without a second thought with Arthur trailing in quickly after him.

"Get away from me!" A woman screamed.

"Micah, what the hell do you think you're doing!?" Dutch yelled as Arthur barged inside to see Micah chasing an already terrified woman around the table.

"Oh, look what I found in the cellar!" Micah laughed. "Wild thing ain't you?"

The woman screamed once again at his aggression, causing her to slug a bottle in Micah's direction. She had one hell of an arm and if he hadn't dodged it, Micah probably would have had a broken nose.

"Leave her alone!" Dutch barked.

"I wasn't doing nothing! She's one of them O'Driscolls." Micah snickered maliciously as the blonde woman snatched a knife up, pointing it at Micah like a cornered wild animal.

"No, she ain't, Micah. Look at her!" Dutch implored. "Miss, miss, are you-"

Before Dutch could even get a word out to find out who this woman was, Micah had to fly off the handle, lunging forward and shoving the dining table aside. Arthur actually jumped as the lantern shattered to the floor, spilling flames all over the floor.

"Oh, you fool Micah!" Dutch barked as Micah continued his rampage toward her, but Dutch caught him quickly and shoved him away from her toward Arthur who took initiative to push him away further as Dutch desperately tried to calm the woman in front of them, holding up his hands.

"Miss, now it is gonna be okay. We mean you no harm." He spoke slowly, taking careful steps toward the traumatized woman, stopping as she flinched and pointed the knife at him. "Miss! Miss... Come on, it'll be okay." He cooed carefully but as he looked around, watching fire beginning to consume the structure he prayed she'd come with them but her demeanor finally seemed to calm a bit, wrapping his arm around her and ushering her toward the door he looked to Arthur and Micah. "We need to get out of here, and quick. Come on now." He ordered.

After leading the distressed woman from her burning home, Dutch was quick to wrap her in anything he could find, managing a blanket from his saddlebag. She turned to her burning home seeming to be in complete shock.

"You okay, miss?" He asked gently as he led her toward the horses.

"They came three days ago... And my husband, they..." She stifled a sob.

"Okay, miss... You are safe now... And you can't stay here." Dutch mentioned as the creaking and snapping of the wooden cabin caught everyone's attention as the fire roared in the icy silence. "You come with us." Dutch then stated to the woman before glancing at his most trusted gun as they came up to The Count. "Arthur." He muttered, handing the other the lantern so he could unhitch his horse and climb up into the saddle while Arthur wrapped a protective arm around the woman and guided her forward.

"Miss, it's okay, alright? We're bad men, but... We ain't them, so... It's okay." Arthur assured her as best as he could, he wasn't the best at comforting people but he tried, seeing Dutch was settled on The Count, Arthur handed the lantern back over and gently boosted the stranger into Dutch's saddle. "Get on. We'll keep you safe until you figure out... What you wanna do."

The blonde woman looked down at Arthur with what looked like disdain at first, to which he didn't blame her... But her eyes softened into exhausted sorrow. She broke her gaze away from Arthur's as she silently accepted the ride ahead. It wasn't like she had much choice anyway. Arthur frowned but walked over to the horse he had freed from the barn and climbed up.

The further they rode away from the cabin, the louder it felt as the structure gave away beneath the fire and crumbled on top of itself. The woman leaned somewhat into Dutch, barely having enough energy to keep her eyes open as her tears froze to her cheeks.

"What's your name, Miss?" Dutch inquired as he led the small posse away from the burning homestead. "Miss?" He questioned once more when he didn't get a response.

"Adler..." She muttered, sounding nothing but defeated.

"Adler?' Dutch asked curiously.

"Sadie Adler. Mrs... I-... He-... He was my husband."

* * *

John shivered violently, how could the storm continue to get worse!? He had tried to hunker down where he was at for the rest of it, but the howling with the wolves coupled with John already short on supplies he knew he couldn't stay much longer. It had already been at least eight hours since he had set up camp and John could already see the remnants of sunlight beginning to pick up over the mountains though it was barely noticeable due to the cloud coverage. John forced his exhausted legs up to stand, he was so tired but after the night before his eyes had remained open since.

Though, John couldn't help cringing as he tried to hoist himself into Gypsy's saddle from the bullet _still_ in his arm. He was pretty sure it had stopped bleeding by now but as he glanced over to the red-stained bandage he frowned. He had to keep going... But as he looked up at his horse, even she seemed tired and he felt horrible for putting her through such strife. He sighed as he reached up and rubbed her neck gently, hearing her huff softly as she leaned into his touch.

"I know girl... I'm sorry. Just a little longer okay?" John asked softly as he took a moment to look around his surroundings.

Eventually, he decided that the best course of action was just to keep going in the direction he was heading instead of trying to backtrack and end up wasting precious time that he didn't have. Once he gained his strength, John groaned as he pulled himself up onto the saddle. John crossed the river adjacent to him and continued on his way, not realizing that he was less than a mile from the gang's encampment.

The wind was still brutal, every time it hit him John felt as if it would blow him right off the saddle and into the next life. One thing he was certain of, he would _never_ settle down in a place that got this cold, for shit sakes it was May!

Eventually, John found himself going up, which confused him greatly as the snowy wind made him unable to discern what direction he was even going anymore. For a moment, John considered turning around yet again, he wasn't trying to get to the mountain peak anymore.

However, as John frowned and turned Gypsy around he gasped as he realized that he was being followed... Just barely through the haze of the blizzard... He could see them. They were coming for him, shrouded forms with coats designed specifically for this weather. They were waiting for him to get into the open... And John had given them exactly what they wanted.

John's heart began racing, he knew it was a bad idea to make any sudden movements but he _had_ to put distance between them. Without hesitation, John turned Gypsy back around and kicked her quickly forcing her into a gallop. He couldn't even see more than ten feet in front of him so it seemed, but the chase must've gone on for hours. By the time Gypsy had completely exhausted herself John was able to actually count how many wolves were pursuing them due to the sunlight.

"Shit! Shit c'mon girl don't give up on me now!" He pleaded as he felt Gypsy slowing, the cold and exhaustion seeming to catch up to her as well.

Suddenly though, Gypsy skidded to a stop and reared back, it seemed in the confusion of the panic-induced chase John had led Gypsy to a fucking cliff... A fatal error.

A feral loud bark from behind him startled John and turning around he gasped as he realized that the wolves were leading him this way on purpose... So they could surround him. Gypsy whinnied loudly and backed up but stopping as her hood came in contact with the edge. This was it... They were trapped.

There was only one thing they could do... And that seemed just as suicidal, and it really depended on Gypsy's resolve. The wolves slowly began closing in on John and Gypsy, snarling ferociously and snapping their jaws to alert Gypsy further. John quickly scanned the group of wolves looking for a break in the formation the closer they came... And as soon as John felt there was an opening he kicked Gypsy hard.

"C'mon! C'mon!" He yelled.

Despite his better judgment, Gypsy actually raced forward and cut through the pack who began snapping toward her ankles and beginning the real hunt as she ran. The continued surrounding Gypsy as she desperately tried to escape them, barking and trying to get close enough to pull off an attack... And despite John thinking that just _maybe_ for a moment that they might escape, it wasn't long before one of the larger wolves took initiative and lunged at Gypsy's front left shoulder, causing her to stop.

From there it was just trying to stay alive, Gypsy cried out and reared up, causing John to fly off her back into the snow. Upon instinct, John began pushing himself away from the scene that unfolded before him... After the first attack more followed until the wolves had nearly piled on top of John's loyal horse... Hearing her noises of agony would haunt him, but he couldn't even end her misery... He could only watch.

However, despite the wolves focusing on Gypsy due to her being the meal ticket... There was one amongst them that suddenly snapped it's head in John's direction, catching his heart-stopping as it slowly began skulking towards him. He considered shouting to try and get it away from him but he feared he'd draw more attention and all of his guns were on Gypsy... Not that he could shoot much of anything at the moment anyway.

John continued backing himself up as the wolf advanced on him... Staring into its golden globes as it got within five or so feet of him before lunging at him as well. John was unable to stop the scream as it's canines locked onto his leg, thankfully it didn't seem to distract anyone from making a meal of his horse but it also didn't stop the attack currently on him. The wolf tore wildly at John's leg until John managed to land a swift hard kick directly into its face and ripping his fangs off John's leg as he yelped and shook its head.

Though now, it seemed there was a new target... The wolf snarled at John as he reached down and held his bloodied leg before lunging once more, not giving John enough time to ready himself. He was forced on his back as the predator snapped its jaws dangerously close to John's face as his arms _barely_ held the heavy animal off of him. The wolf thrashed against John's hold, doing whatever he could to get to John's neck, his claws thrashing around as well as catching John's face and ripping into it.

The pain from the gashes that mangled his face along with the punctures to his leg... As well as the _smallest_ glimpse of seeing the rest of the pack already making a meal of Gypsy who already stopped making any sound... The anger coupled with the pain suddenly gave John a burst a strength he _desperately_ needed, recalling the last weapon at his disposal just in time, John reached down and managed to unsheath his knife and with one loud war-like scream, John shoved the blade into the side of the wolf's neck... Killing it almost instantly.

The predator went limp in John's arms... Panting, freezing, and pained John shoved the massive animal off of him and groaned as his elbows slowly pushed himself up, but he gasped quietly as he saw the rest of the pack still focused on his horse. If he had any will to live, he had to get away from here before they realized that he was still alive and came to finish him off as a group...

Quite literally on his hands and knees, John began crawling away from the carnage blood coating his face, clothing, and wounds... He had to get somewhere safe from other predators alike, not just wolves.

* * *

When Arthur's exhausted eyes opened, he sighed quietly as he reached up and ran a hand down his face as usual. It was quite amazing how much the cold could sap the energy out of him, even though he finally got some much-needed sleep he woke up feeling almost just as tired as he did when he passed out the night before once he, Dutch, and Micah returned with Sadie... There had been no sign of John.

Sitting up, Arthur managed to push himself into the sitting position. He was thankful to have a room to himself since most of the men were held up in another room... He'd rather die than take up residence with the likes of Micah. Yawning, Arthur watched the plume of fog come from his mouth, which caused him to slightly roll his eyes. He hated the fucking cold, and without wasting much more time he walked into the main room that connected his, Hosea's, and Dutch's rooms together and had a fireplace adorning it.

He was thankful that it was already lit, but Arthur was more shocked to see Dutch and Hosea sitting together with one another. It had been a long time since he had seen them so close together, especially these last few months... They had been especially at odds.

"... So what now, Dutch?" Hosea questioned seriously.

"We get strong, we get warm... And we wait. When the storm breaks we move... But we're safe here, and warm enough." Dutch sighed as he leaned back in his chair and stared into the fire.

"I guess." Hosea muttered softly as he too turned his attention to the fire, however, Dutch glanced over with a slightly arched brow.

"... You sound doubtful." Dutch mentioned, his tone already warning at a confrontation.

"Not... Doubtful, just worried." Hosea clarified as he reached up and rubbed his eyes.

"We have been shot at before, Hosea. I honestly don't feel that this is anything new." Dutch reminded.

"... I hope not." Hosea said softly, definitely sounding doubtful.

"We had a bit of bad luck, but then the storm covered our tracks so now we wait a bit and go back to Blackwater and we get our money, or we get some more money and we keep heading west." Dutch explained.

"But we're heading east..!" Hosea exasperated.

"For now... For now." Dutch parroted before nodding. "... We got this, we're _safe_." He said confidently enough before rising from his chair, most likely to get away from the conversation at hand. "Stay strong, Hosea." He mused before reaching down and landing a soft open palm on Hosea's back, but it was about this time that he noticed Arthur leaning in the doorway listening. "What about you Arthur? You doubtin' me too?" He asked softly with a small scoff.

"Never." Arthur replied seriously.

"Good... Cause you know me son, I'm just gettin' started. Once we get some money they... Well, they better send some good men after us cause they ain't never gonna find us, but we _need_ money." Dutch stated matter-of-factly, Arthur knew that right now it was best just to agree with Dutch rather than argue, so he nodded quickly.

"Of course, Dutch." Arthur affirmed, and hearing his cooperation, Dutch's eyes softened.

"... Thank you, son, for your strength. It means a lot to me." He sighed tiredly, actually pleasantly surprising Arthur for the first time in god-knew.

It was no secret that Arthur carried the weight that no one else was able to, but it got tiring even for him... It was _also_ no secret that Arthur was often underappreciated, he didn't mind most of the time, but at moments like this when Dutch took a moment to actually thank him, it went a long way. However after Dutch's form retreated from the cabin, Arthur glanced over to Hosea who still sat and stared at the fire.

Sighing, Arthur took up Dutch's previous seat.

"You mind?" He asked softly.

"Of course not." Hosea replied evenly as he glanced over.

"... How're you two doin'?" Arthur then asked a bit softer.

"... I don't know." Hosea sighed honestly as he reached up to briefly adjust his hat. "If he really thinks we'll be able to go back to Blackwater..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

"Let's not worry about that now... Right now we should focus on stayin' warm and gettin' off this mountain. Why don't we go check on the ladies?" Arthur offered, hoping to distract Hosea from his straining relationship with Dutch.

He was hopeful, and seeing Hosea glance over to him he eventually released a breath and nodded before Arthur stood and offered a hand. Of course, Hosea refused it but he was obviously moving slower due to the temperature. His body was taking a toll in this weather and Arthur worried for him. However, when he opened the door, Arthur actually stumbled back just slightly at the snow completely blinding him momentarily. Hosea released a small snicker, before he and Arthur made their way toward the larger structure that held a majority of the women and Jack.

When Arthur and Hosea walked inside, Hosea first bee-lined for the coffee while Arthur walked over to the fireplace where Tilly, Abigail, and Mary-Beth were huddled up together. Just the short walk from his cabin to this one chilled him to the bone.

"Hello, Arthur." Abigail greeted.

"Abigail." Arthur greeted shortly.

Their relationship took a long time to get to some sense of normal after John returned to the gang, while they probably wouldn't ever be as close as they used to be they still cared a great deal for one another. For a while, after John returned, Arthur and Abigail rarely spoke to one another just to save themselves any awkwardness or heartache. However, with Jack's natural love for Arthur, Abigail couldn't help feeling grateful to him since John was rather useless in the fatherhood department. It wasn't for lack of trying it just... Wasn't instinctive to John like it was Arthur.

Despite his somewhat cold exterior, no pun intended, Arthur did care for Abigail as the mother of his child though he didn't see her simply as that anymore, but because of the things they shared together once upon a time, Arthur kept himself distanced from Abigail to protect them both. His gaze was quick to leave her form as he threw another log onto the fire, but suddenly Abigail stood looking almost nervous as her form fidgeted.

"Arthur-... How you doin'?" She suddenly asked, but Arthur wasn't stupid, he could see in her eyes that she wanted to ask him something it made him arch a brow since it wasn't like Abigail to beat around the bush, but he already had a feeling of what she was going to ask him from the conviction in her eyes.

"... Just fine Abigail, and you?" He inquired curiously, but watching Abigail's head fall somewhat he waited.

"... I need you to-" Just like Arthur predicted, he snorted quietly and shook his head and looked away from her. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry to ask but-"

"It's little John... He's got himself caught into a scrape again." Arthur growled with exasperation, watching Abigail's eyes light up with defiance.

"He ain't been seen in... E-Ever since..." Abigail murmured after forcing herself to calm down.

"Your John'll be fine. I mean... He may be as dumb as rocks and as dull as rusted iron but that ain't changing because he got caught in some snowstorm!" Arthur scoffed.

Since he was the only other man to know of the full story behind Arthur and Abigail's somewhat torrid relationship, Hosea stood up.

"At least go take a look. Javier?" Hosea questioned, glancing over to the fellow resting against the wall with a cigarette.

"Yes?" Javier sighed.

"Javier, will you ride out with Arthur to take a look for John? You're the two best fit men we've got." Hosea mused, ignoring Arthur's scalding hot gaze and watching Javier glance toward the door after hearing a particularly loud gust of wind.

"... Now?" Javier inquired.

"She's... We're all... We're pretty worried about him." Hosea explained as best he could, glancing to Abigail who quickly looked away from Arthur but eventually, Javier took a breath and looked to Arthur.

"I know if the situation were reversed... He'd look for me." Javier finally relented before getting off the wall and approaching Arthur, offering a sawed-off for compensation, watching as Arthur snatched the gun with a scowl.

Seeing that despite his resistance, Arthur gathered himself up and began following Javier out the door, Abigail almost gasped out a sigh in relief.

"Thank you..!" She exulted.

Arthur glanced back to her one last time, their eyes meeting before he quickly exited the cabin... To save the golden boy once more.

> I don't know why I just can't let it go  
> I don't know why I just can't let it go
> 
> Memory's old but I just can't let it go  
> The idea's gone but I just can't let it go
> 
> Time, give me my yesterdays  
> Save it for all you had in your eyes, I have gone away
> 
> Fate  
> Dealt you a tricky hand  
> Now you're just left alone in your mind  
> And I have gone away
> 
> I don't know why I just can't let it go  
> Memory's old but I just can't let it go
> 
> In the light, right here in the light  
> Right here in the hold me and don't you ever let this die
> 
> Right here in the light  
> And in the day time  
> Right here in the  
> Hold me and don't you ever let this die
> 
> In the light  
> And in the daytime  
> Right here in the...
> 
> source: [In the Light by The Lumineers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBPrYvwwz68&ab_channel=BFMMusic%26More)


	6. Good Will Hunting

Even though they had managed to survive the night, the wind was still brutally cold when Arthur and Javier walked outside to their horses. Arthur had to admit that the stallion he had found at Sadie's ranch was one beautiful animal, just perhaps not quite what he was looking for, though he was perfect for now. Arthur walked around to his front and gently patted the horse's neck before climbing into the saddle.

"This way. Last I know, John was headed up the river." Javier mentioned and motioned in the direction before kicking his ride.

"For all we know, he kept riding north and never looked back." Arthur scoffed bitterly.

"He wouldn't leave. Not like that." Javier defended.

"Well, wouldn't be the first time." Arthur growled quietly mostly to himself as they rode ahead.

The constant cycle of having to save John was sure getting old to Arthur, especially when he was wasting his time. He was sure that John was hold up somewhere just fine waiting for the storm to break just like they were, why waste the manpower in searching for him?

Eventually, Arthur pushed the loathing thoughts out of his mind and focused on the ride ahead. His eyes kept Javier in the middle of them if god forbid they got separated. At least the visibility was far better today, the sky was actually peaking through in places here and there, which hopefully meant the storm would be letting up sooner rather than later.

"Hey, I see some smoke. Come on, let's take a look." Javier pointed out and led his horse in the direction.

"Let's hope it ain't more of O'Driscoll's boys." Arthur joked dryly as he followed after him.

They rode upon an abandoned campsite, definitely small enough to be John's and the embers of the fire were still smoldering. Arthur and Javier dismounted from their horses and investigated around for any sign of their missing Marston. Thankfully Javier noted the direction of tracks in the snow.

"Well... Seems somebody left... Recently..." He muttered softly as he knelt by the firepit and looked in the direction. "And... That way." He confirmed before hopping back on Boaz, Arthur quickly mirroring his actions seeing nothing of interest was lying around.

"Sure, well, come on then." He acknowledged.

"Let's cross. See, they continue up that way."

"Do you think it's John?"

"You tell me. These are horse tracks for sure, but... Could be anyone. Let's just see where they lead."

"So, you were there, Javier, what really happened on that boat?" Arthur couldn't help asking after Dutch's quick deflection.

"We had the money, it seemed fine, then suddenly they were everywhere." Javier explained keeping an eye out for signs of John.

"Bounty hunters?" Arthur inquired curiously.

"No, Pinkertons. It was crazy. Raining bullets." Javier said with a level of amazement as they carefully navigated around a crevice the higher in altitude they followed the tracks. "Dutch killed a girl in a... Bad way, but it was a bad situation." He then mentioned with obvious hesitance along with the quickness to come to Dutch's defense.

"That ain't like him, though." Arthur said with genuine disbelief as he tried to picture such a thing.

"Davey got shot... John too... Mac and Sean, we don't even know. I'm surprised we escaped at all. By the time you showed up on the other side of town, we were only just holding on." Javier sighed as he recounted the grueling beginning of the assault.

Arthur frowned as he remembered arriving, he had no clue that Dutch had killed a woman in that storefront... Could Javier just have recounted things wrong? His eyes fluttered shut knowing that no... Javier wasn't crazy after all, Dutch's rashness had gotten particularly unbearable over the last couple of months, the ferry job was proof of that alone but murdering an innocent woman? Arthur didn't even want to think about that.

However, when Arthur refocused on their task he suddenly realized just how high in altitude they really were. Glancing behind him he could just _barely_ see the snowy landscape awaiting them, why was John all the way up here? Another harsh gust of wind nearly took Arthur's hat with it and due to that, Arthur realized just how perilous this route was... And besides the camp they had found, there was no sign of John even in the area. These _tracks_ might not even be his anyway and they were disappearing fast with the weather.

"I don't know about this, Javier. W-We can't follow nothing." Arthur slightly fretted.

"Let's push on a little bit! Maybe we'll pick up the trail again." Javier encouraged, but when Arthur's horse faltered and managed to pick himself up Arthur's heart found itself racing.

"Almost there, boy, come on now!" Arthur reassured, thankful that the beast was able to make it up to the top of the ridge.

Once they were on the cliff edge, Arthur looked back out over the landscape, wishing he could see more. If the weather wasn't so brutal this would have been a decent sketch location, however while Arthur reached down and patted his horse, Javier was surveying the landscape.

"Hey look, over there." Javier mentioned, catching Arthur's attention.

Turning his stallion around Arthur noticed something on the ground in the distance in deep contrast with the snow, but due to the sheer blinding brightness of the white floor it was hard to make out what it was. Furrowing his brows, Arthur kicked his horse ahead with Javier close behind him.

The scene laid out before them sent Arthur's heart sinking straight into his stomach... It was Gypsy, her entrails sprawled out all over the snow obviously having been eaten by some wild animals.

"John was riding that horse when we left Blackwater..." Javier muttered watching Arthur quickly dismount his horse and rush to the downed horse's side.

If anything, Arthur was just making sure she was dead and not suffering... He couldn't help feel a sense of grief for the animal, he remembered purchasing her after all... His heart clenched but he released a breath, knowing the more important task was finding out if John had suffered the same fate. Arthur would be lying if he said he wasn't praying.

"Shit..." Arthur hissed softly as he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose as the guilt already began to consume him.

"Let's see if he can hear us." Javier suggested, reaching to his hip and pulling out his gun before pointing it into the air.

* * *

Shivering, panting, and bleeding John huddled up against the mountain... How he managed to make it all the way here was truly a mystery to him it was all a blur. He didn't remember how or really _where_ he came from. He had been fading in and out of consciousness for what felt like hours but he didn't have any idea how long he had been sitting there.

He was going to die here...

After avoiding it narrowly for so long, John was going to freeze or bleed to death on a frozen mountain top... He could have laughed if he wasn't so tired. It felt like his life was slowly playing out for him... His biggest regrets being front and center.

Even in death, he wasn't ready to face them, the way he ran away, having a child... Especially Arthur.

_Arthur..._

_Don't forget we're family John... We'd die for you but that doesn't mean you're immortal. We can't protect you from everything. You ain't a kid anymore, you're right... Now you're a man, men get shot, killed... Hanged, are you ready for those consequences?_

_If my last act in this world was making sure you lived to see the rest of your life... I was fine with that._

_... I forgive you._

John snorted softly as the memories from his past stung him like snake venom... Even now... He still thought of that bastard but why?

If John was being honest with himself, he knew part of it was because he truly regretted how sour his relationship with Arthur got... But that wasn't all his fault, Arthur played a major role in that. Hell, Arthur was even a better father than him, how could he not feel some kind of resentment? It was totally justified...

But that didn't mean John didn't regret it.

**_POP._ **

John gasped softly as he heard the gunshot from afar, it didn't sound like it was that much of a trek but John looked down at his leg... There was no way he was getting up from this spot. With whatever energy John had left he did whatever he could to project his voice.

"Hello!? Over here! I need help!" He cried, hoping to god he was loud enough.

There was a long pause, and for a moment John thought all was lost as he sighed and leaned his head back against the cold rock once again.

"-ohn..!"

"Marston!"

That was Arthur's voice! John's eyes felt like they were bulging out of his head as he looked around frantically trying to find the direction of the voices, praying it wasn't a cruel hallucination from the hypothermia.

"I'm here!" He yelled back. "O-Out on the ledge! Help me!"

"We're coming, John!" Javier called back.

"Over here!"

"Alright! Pipe down, Marston!" Arthur barked, not trying to give off how relieved he really was hearing John's shrill voice cutting through the wind.

They might have lost Gypsy but John was alive... And truly that was all Arthur cared about. As they traversed the treacherous cliffside. The fact that John managed to get all the way out here was a feat in itself considering his injured arm but Arthur wasn't prepared for what he was about to see. When he and Javier finally walked up on John and Arthur met John's gaze... Arthur's heart absolutely shattered for the first time in _years_.

John's face was mutilated and looked _painful_ , and yet when he and Arthur looked at one another there was a moment that felt like stretched out over a lifetime. Suddenly Arthur felt like the hugest asshole for refusing to look for him in the first place. Had he known what John was going through out here he would have been at his side in an instant. However, John actually released a small puff of breath akin to a weak chuckle before speaking.

"... Never thought I'd say this but... It's good to see you, Arthur Morgan." He greeted, only pummeling Arthur's heart into dust further.

Thankfully though, Arthur had been stuffing down his emotions most of his life, he was able to force his feelings of self-loathing and sheer guilt as he assessed John's wounds.

"That's quite a scratch you got there." He mused with little to no concern, however as he dropped down to John's side to a crouch next to him and saw the wounds more up close he swallowed harshly. "You don't look so good..." He finally sighed.

"I don't feel too good neither." John agreed with obvious exhaustion.

The first thing was getting John the hell out of here, he could see blood leaking from multiple places, John's face, arm, and leg. How he was still conscious was a miracle but knowing they didn't have much time until that was a reality, Arthur didn't wasn't any time in reaching down and carefully tossing John over his shoulder as carefully as he could while John groaned loudly in pain.

"Don't die just yet, cowboy." Arthur quipped almost affectionately, slowly lowering John down to the floor in front of Javier so the other could pick him up.

"Y-You know it takes more than this..." John chuckled tiredly, but as Arthur glanced up once he set him down John arched his good brow.

"Promise..?" Arthur then inquired softly, the corner of his mouth upturning just slightly before Javier leaned down and helped him up.

"Come on, compadre." He encouraged as he wrapped John's good arm around his shoulders while Arthur climbed back up.

While Arthur was originally planning to rip into John the moment he caught up with him for disappearing like he did... He figured that whatever got to John first ripped into him enough. When Arthur climbed back up to the walkway, Javier transferred John back into Arthur's arms. Despite how humiliating this was... John had to admit he had never been so glad to see Arthur in his life and even though the bitter cold John was still comforted by the other's familiar scent as Javier guided Arthur a different way back to their horses.

"How the hell did you get all the way up here anyway?" Arthur eventually asked John as he walked.

"The snow sure didn't help but... I-I tried to settle down and wait for it to get clearer." He explained somewhat.

"Yeah we found your camp, you actually weren't real far from us." Javier mentioned with some amusement.

"Go figure." John huffed.

"But that still doesn't explain how you got almost to the summit of this mountain." Arthur reminded.

"W-Well, a pack of wolves started surroundin' me, and when I ran outta firewood and the snow showed no signs of stoppin' I didn't really have a choice... I got turned around and got cornered... Gypsy she..." John mumbled softly.

"... We found her." Arthur mentioned.

"Yeah..." John sighed.

Arthur remembered how devastated he was when he lost The Admiral, it had been years but he still hadn't bonded to another mount like that since then, he knew exactly how John felt. However, they couldn't dwell on that for too long when a piercing howl cut through the roaring of the wind. Arthur gasped softly as he and Javier turned around, John released an audible groan as he picked himself up as best he could to see the large wolf that attacked his horse overlooking them from the high ground.

"Perfect..." John grumbled but as Arthur suddenly began shifting, he frowned.

"Here, take him, you head for the horses, I'll keep John's friends off until you're clear." Arthur instructed Javier.

"W-What!?" John asked as Javier took over carrying him.

"Don't argue John." Arthur stated simply as he reached down and pulled out the sawed-off shotgun that Javier had given to him.

John wanted to struggle but he literally had no more energy to fight... He could only watch as a few of the pack members descended down the slope toward them as Arthur stayed behind and stood his ground loading up the gun and rolling his neck.

"C'mon now you damn dirty dogs!" He called out, keeping their attention.

Even as John and Javier got further and further from Arthur, John's eyes focused on him... In his haze of exhaustion, things seemed to go in slow motion. The wolves snarled and began their approach, barking fiercely and slowly beginning to circle Arthur just as they did John. However, just like that things seemed to kick up in pace, one of the wolves suddenly began sprinting toward Arthur at full speed, making John's heart race as he watched Arthur finesse the attack with ease, dodging the lunge before firing his gun, putting down one of the dogs right away.

The problem was that there were two other wolves and one bullet... As one of the other wolves decided to try and flank Arthur he quickly turned and fired once again, the shrapnel turning the animal's brain into mush but the last wolf snarled and threw itself at Arthur with incredible force from his right, catching Arthur's arm and completely throwing him off balance.

"Arthur!" John screamed as he saw the wolf sink its fangs into Arthur and spin him around with the force of the attack.

Arthur released a gasp and yell of pain as he felt the canines ripping through his coat. Thankfully though due to the number of layers Arthur was wearing it could have been much worse, Arthur pulled his arm back, bringing the wolf toward him before he reared his leg back and landed one hard into the animal's lower jaw and neck forcing him to release. The wolf yelped and backed off momentarily but didn't give Arthur enough time to reload. Quickly sheathing his shotgun, Arthur pulled out his hunting knife and stared the wolf down as he continued circling him.

Javier boosted John up into the saddle before quickly turning around and seeing the stand-off between Arthur and the wolf and considered running to his aid but he didn't have time before the wolf lunged again. This time, Arthur intentionally put his arm up in defense and as soon as the wolf bit down on him, Arthur swung inward toward the beast's underbelly and drove the large blade straight into its heart. Almost instantly the wolf fell limp to the floor, causing Arthur to double over and pant heavily. His arm was throbbing and he was certain that there was at least one good gash beneath the layers of fabric but he got off a lot better than John.

Knowing there were probably more wolves in the area, Arthur quickly picked himself back up and met up with Javier and John.

"That was a close call there." Javier observed with wry amusement.

"Yeah well, I didn't see you steppin' in to help." Arthur grumbled.

"Hey, you told me to take care of John." Javier chuckled watching Arthur mount up and nod that he was ready to go.

"Fair enough." Arthur mused as they began the ride back toward camp.

John tried not to lean into Javier to spare his pride but he was so fucking tired and so fucking cold... Despite being so miserable from the weather, had it not been so freezing, John knew he probably would have bled to death but that didn't mean he had to like it. As he rested his head against Javier's back, his eyes only focused on Arthur as he rode beside them, occasionally Arthur would look over as well though they didn't say anything, John felt his consciousness beginning to fade.

"I don't feel too good..." He groaned.

"You'll be fine. It's just like a... A dog bite." Javier noted, trying to keep John awake.

"I knew a feller, got bit by a dog... Died an hour later." John sighed in response.

"You ain't gonna die. Not yet." Javier said matter-of-factly as they rode down the mountains, however just as Arthur predicted more wolves appeared almost spontaneously, probably having been lying in wait to ambush something. "Look! Up there more wolves!"

Now that Arthur was on his horse he was able to get a proper gun to take care of these pests, reaching to grab a rifle he noticed the wolves targeting the horses. Arthur fired and popped them off one by one but more and more flooded from the trees. Arthur probably ended up gunning down at least six more before they got back toward the river.

"Do you see anymore, Arthur!?" Javier called.

"Don't think so." Arthur replied as his head swiveled around.

"Jesus..!" John exasperated.

"You still with us, Marston?" Arthur inquired glancing over, had the situation not been so dire he would have thought it to be amusing.

"Just about..." John grunted.

"You're gonna be okay. We have some shelter now." Javier mentioned, taking some of the pressure off of John's failed scouting mission.

"Thanks for coming for me." John then said, his eyes coasting over to Arthur who seemed to glance over about the same time, but Arthur was quick to avert his gaze and stay silent.

"Of course. That bullet in Blackwater, now this? You had a hell of a time." Javier sympathized.

"And Arthur always says... I'm lucky." John chuckled weakly.

"None of us are lucky right now. We should ride the water for a bit, try to lose the scent. Don't want to leave a trail right back to camp." Javier suggested and led them into the water for a little while before crossing over, Arthur knew he couldn't stay quiet forever on the matter.

"You know, we're gonna need to come up with a better story for that scar." He implied.

"So, freezing, bleeding, _starving-_ damn near getting eaten to death, ain't good enough for you?" John asked with sheer bewilderment as he looked over but he noted a rather soft smile on Arthur's expression but as soon as he saw it, it was gone as Javier directed them toward camp.

"Let's just cross." Javier snorted.

John groaned softly from the pain in jostling his leg from the trip, but he was just so happy knowing he'd be by a fire soon... And he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy to see Arthur, though that didn't mean everything between them was suddenly okay. They had saved each other multiple times in the past, it never changed anything... With that thought, John sighed quietly and leaned into Javier despite his better judgment.

In a haze of blurred vision, what was probably a half an hour ride only felt like five or so minutes. Suddenly he felt Javier reach around and gently nudge his good leg, making John jump slightly.

"See those building up ahead, John? That's where we're camped, nearly there." He mentioned, making John nearly pass out just with the confirmation that he made it back, his eyes coasted over as the small buildings came closer and closer into view, it was small but it was a roof. "Come on! Someone help John off this horse!" Javier called out as they approached.

"Can we get some help here?" Arthur mirrored as they pulled in, however, John began leaning off the horse barely conscious and making Arthur's heart pump a bit erratically. "We need some help here!" He barked loudly, finally seeming to catch everyone's attention, the door swung out and Abigail was the first to come pouring out followed by Bill and Lenny to aid her.

"You're alive! Oh, you're alive!" Abigail cried joyously as Bill began supporting John's weight as he was slung carefully off the horse but not carefully enough as John screamed in pain.

"Ay, careful idiotas, it's his leg!" Javier chided as John was finally off his horse, Arthur was soon to dismount.

"Come on, let's get you warm." Abigail somewhat cooed to John before she paused and turned to Arthur and Javier once they were both off their mounts while John was hauled inside, her eyes met Arthur's and he couldn't help the fluttering of his heart as he saw her eyes shining so happily at him. "Thank you, thank you both." She beamed before quickly following in with Bill and Lenny, Arthur only _kind of_ hated how much she could control him.

Averting his gaze, Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He had to admit he was relieved that John was still conscious, here and... Still alive. Quickly lighting his smoke to faze out any unpleasant memories, he felt a soft hand land upon his shoulder. Upon glancing over and noting Hosea by his side, before he could even hear what the older man had to say, he heard a rather typical sneer come from Abigail from inside as John was laid down.

"This is a new low even for you!"

Suddenly a smile broke out over Arthur's face as he looked at Hosea, and even the other seemed to lighten up a bit at John's momentary misery.

"Thank you, Arthur." He mused before turning to Javier and nodded. "Thank you."

"Any other lost maidens need savin'?" Arthur inquired amusingly, listening to Javier chortle softly as he offered to take Arthur's reins while Strauss made his way outside to them.

"Not today." Hosea replied as he watched Javier retreat, and now that the two were alone a question that had been nagging at Arthur's mind made itself known.

"Have you and Dutch talked about... How we're gonna get out of this?" He inquired a bit uneasily.

"I was just discussing with Herr Strauss... When the weather breaks I suppose we'll have to keep heading east." Hosea sighed slightly, watching Arthur almost recoil in what seemed to be horror.

"East!? Into all that-that civilization?" He sputtered in complete shock.

"I know... The west is where our problems are worse." Hosea stated seriously, and Arthur knew he couldn't argue with that, sighing and shaking his head Hosea nodded to Strauss. "Come on, Herr Strauss. Let's get warm." He mentioned before beginning to make his way back toward the lodging.

"Thank you, Mr. Morgan." Strauss said off-handedly before following Hosea inside.

Arthur was left standing in the snow, the cigarette still pursed in his mouth. It was true he wanted to check how John was doing but while there were plenty of people crowding him Arthur knew he'd just be in the way. Images of John's slashed face kept flashing in his mind and Arthur was quick to walk toward the cabin he was sharing with Dutch, Molly, and Hosea. Upon swinging the door open, he was greeted with Dutch sitting in front of the fireplace alone, brooding like normal. He jumped slightly and turned around, relaxing as he saw his most trusted friend walk through the door.

"Oh, Arthur. I was wonderin' where you got ridin' off to in this." He mused casually as he motioned to the chair next to him that Hosea was using before to which Arthur took happily and sat down with a small groan.

"Me and Javier went lookin' for John." He replied evenly, holding his hands out toward the flames to warm them quickly.

"Oh? How'd you get on?" Dutch asked with some disinterest.

"... It was... Bad, Dutch." Arthur admitted, noting Dutch look at him rather seriously in the corner of his eye.

"What? How?" He asked.

"... You should go see for yourself, thank god we got there when we did." Arthur murmured with far more inflection than he wanted. "His face is..."

"His face?" Dutch gasped softly.

"Yeah, pack a' wolves got a hold of him... Killed Gypsy too." Arthur explained briefly before Dutch jumped up.

"Damn!" He snarled aggressively but quickly reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's just what we need, another weak link." He growled under his breath.

"What?" Arthur asked with obvious shock as he looked over to Dutch quickly who also seemed surprised with his own words but he quickly cleared his throat.

"N-Nothin'... Sorry, Arthur things have been real tight lately. He's alright though?" He asked, that same tone of disinterest that Arthur didn't quite catch the first time around.

"... Yeah, you can go see him, I'm sure he'd like to see you." Arthur mentioned, slightly arching a brow up at the ebony-haired man, but he was quick to shake his head.

"I trust your judgment. I'm sure he'll be fine." Dutch dismissed before he turned away from Arthur and began walking toward the door. "Micah mentioned somethin' bout O'driscolls in the area..." He trailed off before the door slammed behind him.

Arthur sat there, gawking at the door in complete disbelief of what had just transpired between them. It wasn't like Dutch to be so cold, especially toward John... What suddenly changed between them? Arthur replayed the events in the cabin when he walked in, he knew Dutch had been stressed lately but... It wasn't like John went out with the intention of losing his loyal horse and being disfigured for life.

Once again that painful thought made itself incredibly well known in Arthur's head... How could he be such an asshole? How could _he_ be so unconcerned about John in the middle of such a harsh blizzard? He had allowed his personal feelings about John to cloud his judgment, so in all fairness, could he judge Dutch for doing the same? Even if it was out of character, being apart of a man-hunt would stretch the nerves rather thin.

Perhaps Arthur would keep this conversation between him and Dutch for now… All Arthur cared about was seeing for himself that John would be okay... But he couldn't do that until the panic died down.

> Sometimes  
> I feel the fear of  
> Uncertainty stinging clear  
> And I, I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear  
> Take the wheel and steer
> 
> It's driven me before and seems to have a vague  
> Haunting mass appeal  
> But lately I'm beginning to find that I  
> Should be the one behind the wheel
> 
> Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there  
> With open arms and open eyes yeah  
> Whatever tomorrow brings  
> I'll be there, I'll be there
> 
> So, if I  
> Decide to waiver my  
> Chance to be one of  
> The hive  
> Will I choose water over wine  
> And hold my own and drive?
> 
> It's driven me before and it seems to be the way  
> That everyone else gets around  
> But lately I'm beginning to find that when  
> I drive myself my light is found
> 
> Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there  
> With open arms and open eyes yeah  
> Whatever tomorrow brings  
> I'll be there I'll be there
> 
> Would you choose water over wine?  
> Hold the wheel and drive
> 
> Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there  
> With open arms and open eyes yeah  
> Whatever tomorrow brings  
> I'll be there I'll be there
> 
> [Drive by Incubus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfHn_txMqfQ&ab_channel=Tcold7)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I hope you all had a great holiday and that this was worth the wait! More chapters are in the works so I hope to update sooner rather than later! Thank you all for your patience during the holidays!  
> -Eros


	7. Strange Trails

"Jackie c'mon! It's time for bed!" Abigail called.

The sun fell quickly, though to be fair there wasn't that much sun to begin with, but with the night came subzero temperatures. It was by about this time that Arthur walked into the room, shivering as he quickly shut the door behind him. He had been convincing himself not to for the last hour but he couldn't help himself.

"But mama it's cold!" Jack whined.

"I-I know, but if you lay down in front of the fire it'll get better." Abigail explained.

"Will you lay with me?" Jack asked as Arthur rubbed his gloved hands together, glancing up as Abigail frowned and looked back to John who was laid up and unconscious.

"I-I wish I could baby but I really need to keep an eye on your daddy." She muttered with worry, watching Jack pout.

"Aw, but mama it's better when you lay with me..." Jack contested, and despite himself, Arthur suddenly spoke up.

"Hey uh... Why don't you lay with the kid?" He asked softly, watching as suddenly both Abigail and Jack looked at him. "I'll look after John."

"Y-You'd do that, Arthur?" Abigail asked, seeming far more nervous than he intended to make her. "I don't really wanna impose anythin' on you, I-I already..." She paused, watching as Arthur walked toward her and stopping.

"... It's fine I shoulda-" Arthur's words abruptly stopped but he took a breath and shook his head. "It's fine... I'm sure you've been lookin' after him all day... Get some rest with the boy." He deflected, but Abigail's face softened and she smiled before nodding.

"Thank you, Arthur." She said before looking to Jack. "You wanna say goodnight to Uncle Arthur?" She inquired almost playfully to Jack. 

Arthur had to physically stop his face from shifting as he watched Jack scramble to get up just so he could hug his legs, but Arthur knelt down so the boy could properly hug him to which Arthur squeezed him tightly in return, hearing Jack giggle from the force of such a bear hug.

"Night-night, Uncle Arthur." He snickered.

"Night, kid." Arthur mused, unable to help a subtle smile.

Abigail then nodded before she led Jack away from John and Arthur so she could lay him closer to the warmth of the fire, Arthur hesitantly looked back to John. He felt a swirl of discomfort going on in his stomach but he took a slow breath before he carefully pulled up a chair so as to not wake the injured man and sitting down. Reaching up, Arthur slipped his hat off as well as freeing his hands from the confines of his gloves so that he could sweep his hair back lazily.

Before he knew it, a soft hand landed on Arthur's shoulder, and jumping in shock he turned around to see a quietly cackling Susan. Rolling his eyes Arthur sighed before fully turning to her to see what she wanted.

"That was nice of you." She affirmed with a grin, watching Arthur frown.

"Don't get used to it." He grumbled softly before turning back to John, but she soon slipped a bottle into his hand.

"This  _ ain't _ for you." She clarified before glancing to John. "I wasn't able to take much, but if he wakes up in pain that'll help." She mentioned as Arthur glanced down at the label to note that it was some powerful whiskey and he had to stuff down the urge to chug it so he could get through this painful encounter.

"Yeah, yeah... Thanks." He mentioned, knowing that John would be down and out for a while.

"Here, lemme look at your arm." She then mused, watching Arthur glance over with some surprise. "John mentioned it before passin' out." She added, only solidifying the shock on Arthur's face.

Despite going through all that pain and suffering... John remembered to tell Susan about his injury. Swallowing harshly, Arthur hesitantly nodded before carefully taking off his coat. Rolling up his sleeve, he revealed a  _ large _ bruise but he was far more than lucky that there were only surface level lacerations, nothing that looked serious.

"Any burning or throbbing?" Susan asked as she inspected the area.

"Nah." Arthur muttered.

"Well, then I think you got off okay." She mentioned before actually slapping the affected area with an open palm causing Arthur to hiss loudly and yank his arm back before glaring her down. "You men are so dramatic... Keep an eye on our boy, yes?" She then inquired to Arthur who was quick to wave her off lest he said something he'd get slapped in the face for.

Thankfully, no one else bothered him as everyone seemed to settle in for the night, turning around only once Arthur counted how many people were sleeping in the lodging, there was the women, Jack, Strauss, and the Reverend, but at least they were all huddled near the fire. After about an hour of movement and business, things seemed to calm down and all Arthur could hear was the crackling of the fireplace behind him. Occasionally he would get up and attentively avoid stepping on any bodies before poking the logs and adding any if needed so no one would have to wake up to do so... Everyone had a hard trip to get here.

Plopping back down gently in his chair, Arthur leaned forward a bit to look over John's wounds, they looked much better after being stitched and cleaned, while they were pretty prominent... It wasn't like they were ugly. If anything, they gave John some much-needed character, and Arthur couldn't help being amused at the thought... Though at the same time, when he looked at them all he could remember was when John looked at him on that mountain... That feeling of guilt washing over him like a tidal wave kept coming over and over again.

Arthur released a soft sigh before reaching up and scrubbing his face with his hands as he rested his elbows upon his knees, and when his eyes finally refocused back on John, his vision darted back behind him only momentarily to make sure no one was awake before ever so slowly scooting his chair closer to John... And for the first time in years... Arthur reached out and carefully took John's hand in his own.

His skin was cold to the touch, and Arthur was quick to make sure John was still breathing but he slowly pulled John's hand closer to him so that he could encompass it with both his own... All at once, Arthur bit his tongue, hating how natural it felt even after all these years. Arthur's eyes fluttered shut, he was so tired... And it was impossible for him to sleep before he knew John was okay, but soon he felt just the slight twitching against his palm.

Opening his eyes he looked down to see John's free eye flutter somewhat before it too seemed to open. Feeling relief actually flood his mind and body, Arthur exhaled slowly despite the urge to fling John's hand away from his lap.

"You with us, cowboy?" Arthur asked quietly, watching as John turned his head over to see Arthur clearly, the surprise washed over his face but he soon grimaced slightly due to the stitching in his cheeks, hissing softly. "Careful there... You're so used to glowerin' you might break your face if you smile." He teased.

"Shut up." John groaned softly, but feeling a warm sensation on his left hand, only then did it occur to him that Arthur was actually holding it. "I thought... You was Abigail." John muttered softly before shivering only slightly as a brief sour expression washed over Arthur's face.

As  _ if  _ Arthur's hands were anywhere near as soft as hers, how dare John make that comparison. However, he couldn't remain pouty about it for long as he saw John's frame shudder again. Recalling that he had taken off his coat earlier to show Susan his wolf bite, he gently put John's hand back down at his side before standing. For a moment, John was worried Arthur was leaving and couldn't help missing the warmth of Arthur's hand against his own, but he was confused as he watched Arthur take the coat that hung off the back of his chair and carefully drape it over his upper body that wasn't completely covered by the blankets... And thanks to Arthur's body heat from against his back, it was nice and warm.

"... Better?" Arthur asked as he sat back down.

"Yeah... Thanks." John replied, his voice much less strained now that his body had relaxed from the warmth. "And... Thanks for savin' me. I-I don't know what I woulda done if-..." He trailed off before managing to somewhat meet Arthur's eyes.

"... It ain't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Don't worry about it, Marston." Arthur said after a moment of consideration. "... Not like you haven't taken care of me either." He added for good measure, watching a small smile break out over John's face.

"You much more than me, though." He mused, and despite his better judgement, the corners of Arthur's mouth upturned.

"Well, I wasn't gonna be the one to point it out, but..." He snorted softly.

"Hey, you two! Keep it quiet!" Susan suddenly sneered from behind, causing Arthur to jump and turn before glancing back to John with slightly pursed lips to keep himself from chuckling further and annoying her, John seemed to have the same idea, it felt like they were kids again.

After a moment when Arthur was certain he wouldn't laugh he looked over John's face, his smile slowly disappeared before he sighed knowing there was one last thing he had to say to John before the other passed out again.

"... I'm sorry." He whispered.

"For what?" John asked with confusion.

"... When Abigail asked me to come after you... I said no." He admitted honestly. "I thought... I don't know what I thought, I was an idiot." He explained.

"... I probably woulda been the same way." John confessed before looking to Arthur with a relaxed expression. "You came... That's all that matters." He sighed.

Arthur was... Relieved that John was being so receptive, perhaps it was the blood loss after all? All he knew was that he couldn't remember the last time he actually had a pleasant conversation with John... It was nice... He missed it. Clearing his throat, Arthur sat back up straightly before pushing all those pleasant feelings down just as he did everything else.

"... Go back to sleep, John. I'll be here if you need anythin'." He then assured with a small nod before leaning back in his chair.

"... Promise?"

"Yeah..."

John looked at him for a long moment, but when it passed his eye slowly shut, and just like that his breathing resumed into the slow cadence of sleep, in the end Arthur was left wondering about what just happened. It wasn't like him and John to just... Chat, it made Arthur think. It came so easily for them just now... How? Why now?

Knowing that questioning it was useless, Arthur reached into his satchel and pulled out his newest journal. He hadn't really gotten the chance to write in it since he bought it back in Blackwater besides the one entry before everything went to hell. Sighing, Arthur opened the blank pages of the journal... And suddenly found himself writing.

He wasn't sure how long it was before he stopped, but there were pages and pages... Full of things he had been feeling over the last few weeks that he hadn't gotten any chance to express, he definitely felt lighter even as he drew Jenny with a heavy heart, not wanting to forget what she looked like before drawing the smallest little cross by her name.

_ -We have been running for weeks. We found shelter and been resting here in some old abandoned mining town while we await the thaw. Hardly the spring I had been hoping for. _

Writing the last line that his exhausted mind could utter he paused before glancing up. John was definitely asleep... Before he could stop himself, Arthur leaned forward and despite pausing in his stride right before his hand made contact with John, he ended up gently running his fingers through John's hair... He looked like that stupid kid all over again.

* * *

When Arthur opened his eyes again... He was suddenly outside, in the dark... The sounds around him were haunting to say the least. Gasping softly, he turned around, where the hell was he..? A swamp? The insects buzzed, birds of the night chirped briefly but... Something wasn't right. There was nothing worse than a swamp at night, Arthur would much rather walk through a cemetery than a fucking swamp.

However in the corner of his eye, there was a light, and turning he noticed there was suddenly a lantern on the floor. Tilting his head, Arthur looked around suspiciously, he knew there wasn't a lantern there before... But without a source of light, he was a dead man. Swallowing harshly he trudged forward, somewhat inspecting the light before kneeling and picking it up out of the mud before slowly swinging it around to get a feel for his surroundings and yet... Even with a light in his hand, it was like the darkness around him was a thick fog that not even the light could cut through.

The only thing he could really see was a small path forward in front of him while the swamp swallowed everything else. Arthur didn't feel fear often... But he was definitely feeling hesitant.

_ He was my husband... _

Goosebumps ignited on the back of Arthur's neck as he heard Mrs. Adler's voice echoing softly behind him. Quickly turning around once again he stared into nothing but emptiness...

_ You sound doubtful... _

Dutch's voice... Suddenly, Arthur wanted to be away from here, wherever  _ here _ was.

_ Never thought I'd say this but... It's good to see you, Arthur Morgan. _

Backing up little by little, Arthur quickly turned away from the blackness and started to follow the trail, hearing just the smallest teasings of whispers through the trees, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. This place, it felt... Sinister.

For a while, it felt like Arthur was just walking in place not getting anywhere, but the more he walked, he could see a hint of light ahead. Finally feeling some sense of direction and relief he kept walking but... The sense of foreboding he felt as he walked toward the pleasant-looking light confused him. When he finally got to what the light was illuminating he was shocked to see nothing but a simple shack.

Stopping in his tracks, Arthur furrowed his brows slightly before looking around... Just like before, the darkness seemed to swallow everything around him except for the cabin before him... And what bothered Arthur more, was that he  _ didn't _ want to go inside. There was something telling him not to go in, that going in would be something bad.

Taking a breath as he felt whispers almost slithering through his hair, Arthur felt frustration since he couldn't understand who or  _ what _ they were. All he could do was take one step at a time, but when he got up to the door it was locked. How did any of this make sense? But as he observed the door, he noticed that there was a lantern hanging in the right corner by a hook, looking to the top left corner there was a hook but no lantern... And just like before, there was a sudden urge to get away from the door, but his hand found itself moving on it's own.

When he gently placed the lantern on the hook, his hand landed on the knob... For a long moment he stood there, almost as if the energy from the cabin alone was keeping him there, but slowly he turned the knob and it gave away without a fight and the door creaked open. Arthur had to admit he was surprised to see a well lit indoors, at first it almost seemed welcoming.

However, when he walked in and began to look around he paused, looking at the candles that illuminated the room only to be horrified as he saw human skulls holding them in place... And looking around the room... Everything about it felt off almost like he was somewhere  _ else. _

**_SLAM._ **

Jumping, Arthur turned around and quickly tried to pull the door of the cabin open, but it was firmly shut behind him. His heart was pounding with genuine fear as he hesitantly turned back around, realizing that he was stuck here. What the hell was happening to him? Where was he?

Arthur took a slow breath, trying desperately to rationalize... Anything here, taking his eyes away from the candles, Arthur looked around with a bit more attentiveness. Many paintings aligned the walls, most of them pleasant if Arthur was being honest even if some of the frames were empty. Most of them were portraits of eagles or bucks, they were finely painted, but Arthur didn't dare touch any of them. Somehow this place felt... Otherworldly.

As he observed the art and slowly moved through the room he noticed that there were pictures of landscapes, flowers... But the main event seemed to be the large canvas in the middle of the room. There was a small table beside it with fresh paint... Whoever was working on this hadn't been gone long, but as Arthur looked at the smudged colors, trying to piece together the picture in his mind he came up short... It became obvious very quickly that it wasn't done yet.

Humming, Arthur found himself relaxing a little but that sense of unease would never leave him, he also noted a mirror in the room... Arthur never really cared for his reflection anyway, so staying away from that was pretty easy but when he looked up he tilted his head. There was writing on the walls...

_ FROM THE SNOW TO THE CAVE _

The snow... That's right... He was in the snow, but the cave? Humming, Arthur moved his eyes to the next set of words.

_ I GAVE EVERYTHING FOR ART, AND I LEARNED TOO MUCH AND NOTHING AT ALL _

Frowning Arthur turned around and observed all the paintings once more... All at once, they seemed to be watching him. Biting his tongue briefly he hummed before looking around, there didn't seem to be any others. For a moment, Arthur almost felt calm until he heard a small crash behind him, jumping and turning around he noticed that a jar of black ink had fallen to the ground.

This was getting stranger and stranger... Hesitantly taking a few steps forward he knelt down to observe the paint, there was no way he had bumped it... Glancing upwards, Arthur's eyes suddenly darted up as he saw writing on the mirror written in black paint.

**_I KNOW YOU._ **

* * *

Arthur gasped and awoke with a jump and in a cold sweat... He was back in his cabin in the mountains... Right, Susan had told him to go get some rest, and he had acquiesced since the gang needed him at his best. It was around 6:30 when he laid down in his private room, he shivered due to the sweet sticking to his skin, he couldn't remember having such a... Real dream. Thankfully he had retrieved his coat from John before he left but he was still freezing, sitting up and rubbing his eyes tiredly, Arthur fiddled with his coat, patting down the various pockets as he searched for his watch to desperately forget about the visions in his sleep.

When he finally found it, Arthur brought it out and inspected it carefully. This was the first bit of  _ downtime _ he had since they arrived in the mountains if he could really call it that, and his watch was very special to him. He still thought of the special someone who gave it to him those years ago but to Arthur's relief it was still working and in the same condition it was in when it was given to him. There were two small scratches on the back... And for some reason, Arthur loved them because it just reminded him that it belonged to someone else before it came into his care.

Brushing the almost sentimental feelings away, he opened it to look at the face, it was 10:30... Not exactly the sleep he wanted but it was more than enough to function on for now. Closing it up, Arthur slipped it carefully into his satchel before he stretched and groaned softly, it was exhausting work running from the law. Upon eventually pushing himself into the standing position, he slowly guided himself out into the main room with the fireplace and was pleased to see Hosea sitting there.

"Mornin'." Arthur grumbled softly.

"Mornin'... You look like hell, Arthur. You sleep okay?" Hosea inquired as he leaned over to get Arthur a cup of coffee.

"Thanks..." Arthur scoffed, both for the observation and the coffee as he took the cup. "I slept fine." He lied easily, it was a strange nightmare, nothing more.

"Well, you should probably check in with Pearson, he might have something that'll wake you up better than old coffee." Hosea mused before shrugging.

"I'm sure his ramblings will keep me up." Arthur sighed as he yawned.

"Or put you right back to sleep." Hosea chuckled.

"It's good for me either way." Arthur snorted before swallowing some of the bitter liquid.

"I heard Lenny and Bill went out huntin' for him." Hosea then observed casually.

"I'm sure that went just  _ great _ ." Arthur sighed before he got up so that he could go check in on the cook.

"Oh, Dutch also mentioned he was cooking something up with Micah but he wouldn't tell me much of anything else, you should probably check in with them too." Hosea observed with slight suspicion.

"Well, I'm gonna go make sure that everyone can eat before I go hear whatever foolish scheme Micah has in his head. We can't eat bullets." Arthur scoffed before he ducked out of the cabin, the brightness of the snow actually causing Arthur to stagger from the sheer  _ white _ of it.

After getting over the momentary snow-blindness Arthur shook his head before making his way through the snow toward the lodging where Pearson was setting up their cooking supplies. As he walked underneath the overhang that protected him from the snowfall, he noted Pearson sitting by himself near the smoldering embers that had been warming for a while. Glancing up as he saw Arthur he stood and rubbed his hands together before angling them over the fire pit.

"We're gonna starve to death up here, Mr. Morgan." He muttered rather pessimistically.

"We're okay..." Arthur assured as he mirrored Pearson and warmed his gloved hands by the embers.

"We have a few cans of food and a rabbit for what, ten, twelve people?" Pearson asked with obvious stress in his tone as Arthur started to approach him casually. "When I was in the Navy-"

"I-I do not wish to hear about what you got up to in the Navy, Mr. Pearson." Arthur quickly interjected, waving his hand slightly with disinterest, though as usual Pearson began to speak anyway while he started to chop up what little food they had left and added them into a pot of water.

"We were stranded at sea for  _ fifty _ days." He stated seriously.

"And you unfortunately survived..." Arthur grumbled as he rolled his eyes, watching as Pearson set down his knife with frustration.

"When we ran away from Blackwater, I wasn't able to get supplies in." He stressed seriously as he hauled up the large metal pot and moving it over the embers.

"Well when government agents are hunting you down sometimes shopping trips need to be cut short. We'll survive... We always have and if needs be, we can eat you, you're the fattest." Arthur stated with some amusement as he meandered back over to the warmth of the fire while Pearson darted over to get his ladle from the cutting board.

"I sent Lenny and Bill hunting and they found  _ nothing. _ " He pointed out as Charles walked underneath the shelter to warm himself up.

"Well, Lenny's more into book reading than hunting, Bill's a fool... Unless those mountains are full of game that wanna read ain't no wonder they found nothin'-"

"Enough of this. We'll go find something." Charles quickly cut Arthur off before beginning his way out of the shed while Arthur let his arms fall to his sides as he was yet again volunteered to go out in the shit. "Come on, Arthur."

"Wait a second, hold on." Pearson mentioned as he jogged over to the table, grabbing one of the cans and tossing it to Arthur. "Here, you're gonna need something to eat out there." He said as Arthur glanced down and read the can.

" _ Assorted, salted offal _ . Starving would be preferable." Arthur muttered mostly to himself before begrudgingly slipping it into his satchel.

"Come on, let's go." Charles insisted.

"You can't go hunting. Look at your hand." Arthur mentioned, motioning to the affected limb and watching Charles shake his head with a frown.

"I can't stay here listening to you two. Look, if there's game in these hills I'll find it and you can kill it." He mentioned.

"You need to  _ rest _ , Charles." Arthur replied with worry in his voice.

"You think this is rest?" Charles asked, his tone laced with annoyance before turning around and beginning to walk out. "Come along." He instructed during his departure, leaving Arthur behind to slightly marvel at Charles' determination, eventually seeing himself out they walked toward their horses while Charles pulled out his bow from Taima.

"Here, you take this. I can't use it and you'll have to." He mentioned as he offered the weapon to Arthur who was obviously hesitant about taking it, he had never used one before.

"Oh, you're joking..." Arthur groaned softly as he walked around to his stallion.

"Use a gun and we'll scare off every animal for miles around." Charles explained as he climbed upon his horse. "You're never too old to learn... I imagine. Alright, let's head out." He mused before leading his horse out of camp.

Arthur couldn't help but be surprised at Charles' optimism and confidence in him as he followed behind. For the first time in a long time, Arthur actually feared to disappoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Before anyone gets confused lemme just say I know that the Strange Man's cabin is ACTUALLY centered around the Cholera outbreak in Armadillo but I wanted to put my own spin on it and include it in this story because I have always found the Strange Man to be a FASCINATING character. I hope everyone has had a great holiday whichever you celebrate and are having a great New Year!  
> -Eros


	8. Stand By Me

Despite his initial resistance, Arthur followed Charles as they embarked into the softer snowfall looking for game, and soon enough he found his eyes coasting over to the other man. He had been running with the gang for a while and Arthur was just realizing he still didn't know much about him. He had been reliable and an amazing asset to their team. Eventually noting that Charles wasn't using his burned appendage to hold his reins while they rode, Arthur frowned.

"How are you holding up, Charles?" Arthur inquired.

"I'm okay, apart from this hand, stupid mistake." He sighed in response.

"Still bad?"

"It will be fine in a day or two. I just can't pull a bow right now."

"I sure hope I can. I never really got the hang of it." Arthur muttered with just a bit of hesitance.

"You'll be fine." Charles assured, glancing over and nodding with confidence.

Arthur was a bit surprised to feel just the smallest wave of assurance from Charles' faith in him. He could have just been being nice since Arthur  _ had _ to catch something but he decided to just believe what he wanted to for the moment.

"So... You reckon we're gonna find something to kill that ain't an O'Driscoll?" Arthur inquired curiously as his eyes scanned through the brush.

"There's meat up here for sure, Pearson doesn't know what he's talking about. Now the weather's eased off a bit, they'll be needing to feed. We'll head up this way; find some higher ground." Charles explained, earning a small unseen nod from Arthur as he let out a long exhale.

"Been a wild few days alright. That ride north from Blackwater, getting stuck in this storm, bringing John back in..." He listed with some exasperation just off the top of his head, it had been utterly  _ exhausting _ .

"You've had a lot put on you. I wish I could have done more..." Charles stated with regret clearly in his voice, piquing Arthur's interest, it wasn't like anyone to check up on him, and just hearing Charles wanting to help him felt like it had given Arthur a second wind deep down.

"I didn't mean it like that, just... A lot to think back on." He replied, following Charles and Taima up the snowy slopes.

"I still don't really know what happened on that boat." The other mentioned, glancing over to Arthur as the other kicked his mount just to catch up to Charles.

"Me neither." Arthur scoffed softly but recalling the chilling details he relented. "Well, Javier told me a bit, but... It sure weren't good." He muttered, deciding to leave it at that for now while they traveled through perilous terrain.

Arthur was certain that without Charles and Lenny there was no way that the bulk of the group would have been able to escape unscathed the way they had. While they did lose people, it could have been  _ a lot _ worse... Now that he had a bit of time to think back on the events of the assault on their camp, his heart dropped once again just at the thought of what happened to Jenny trying to save Jack. The kid was so close to taking a bullet it threatened to make Arthur sick, but upon taking a slow calm breath he reminded himself that... Those atrocities were in the past now, thankfully enough and hopefully, Dutch would see reason and be willing to cut his losses when it was time to.

"See some of the ground uncovered here. Come on, let's try this way. Keep your eyes peeled for movement." Charles instructed as they approached a creek that somehow remained unfrozen in the conditions. "The wind's died down too." He commented after a minute or so.

"And that's good?" Arthur asked curiously.

"No wind at all is bad, but if it's too strong, they won't move. Now shh, be quiet." Charles hushed, Arthur considered himself to be a half-decent hunter, but his  _ talents _ had been more focused on getting whatever funds needed to escape the government and he feared he'd be rusty. "Hey, stop here a second, I see something." He mentioned softly before carefully dismounting Taima.

Arthur arched his brows but mirrored Charles' actions and climbed down from his horse as well, following Charles toward a rather obvious trail. He knelt beside the other and examined the markings in the snow before reaching forward and carefully comparing his hand size to the imprint left behind. It wasn't the largest animals hiding in the trees but Arthur wasn't ready to turn down any meat.

"There's deer been here... Recently." Charles murmured.

"Better than rabbit..." Arthur mused before craning his head in the direction that the hooves were leading before he stood up, briefly dusting the snow off his pants and finally holding a hand out to Charles.

Despite the obvious surprise and short hesitance, Charles reached up and took Arthur's offer with his uninjured limb and nodding silently before turning in the direction of their potential meal ticket. They probably weren't far, and the horses would spook the group. Turning back to Arthur's horse he nodded to it expectantly.

"We'll track them on foot. Quiet as you can. Stay low and move slowly."

Glancing back and locking on the bow that was fastened in his horse's saddle... Now for the moment of truth. One last time, Arthur took a slow calm breath and unsheathed it before slipping his gloves off and shoving them into his satchel as his fingers ran over the finely crafted weapon and slinging it over his shoulder. Once he was certain he had enough arrows just in case, he watched as Charles pointed in the direction the group was heading and Arthur looked down to the tracks.

For the first few minutes, as they walked, Arthur was slow and cautious. He couldn't even remember the last time he hunted... Now that they had more people, he wasn't one of the sole providers anymore and Arthur appreciated it if he was being honest, but now his skills had definitely been dampened, he wasn't even sure he'd land a shot with a gun let alone a bow.

"Down there, you see 'em?" Charles asked, causing Arthur to pause and look around, it didn't take long for his eyes to catch his target calmly drinking from the creek they had been following. "Ready with that bow?"

"... As I'll ever be." Arthur grumbled softly as he notched an arrow to the bow.

"Try to hit them in the neck or head, quick and clean. You can pull back quite hard, you'll feel when it's too much." Charles whispered.

Arthur nodded silently... And with no more words shared between them, he reared his hand back and aligned the bow up with the deer. Though he was having issues aiming for a vital spot, Arthur readied himself before the last second, he whistled. The deer poked her head up with surprise and curiosity and without hesitation Arthur let the arrow fly and to his own shock, the doe fell instantly as she was struck.

"Good shot. Now, let's try for another." Charles praised.

Thankfully the second shot came easier, perhaps he wasn't as rusty as he thought? The relief he felt knowing that the family would be fed put a rather positive spin on Arthur's mood. He knew it would probably change when he got back, but for the moment they had some peace of mind.

"Okay, you pick up one, I'll get the other." Charles offered, pulling Arthur out of his head as he turned his attention toward the injured man.

"You sure your hand's okay?" He asked with a frown.

"I'll be fine once I get it on my shoulder." Charles reassured.

Arthur eventually shrugged, knowing that trying to convince Charles to take it easy was fruitless. Whistling into the trees and waiting patiently, when he saw his mount traveling through the brush, Arthur reached down and with one quick heave, threw the doe over his shoulder. He preferred to kill bucks, but right now he wasn't about to discriminate. When his horse stopped beside him, Arthur noted that the animal was visibly a bit uncomfortable with the bloody corpse but didn't resist as Arthur tied it down to him.

"Good boy." Arthur praised as he walked around and patted the horse's shoulder, climbing atop him when he was finally ready and guiding both of them back to Charles.

When he arrived by Charles' side, it seemed that he was going about as fast as Arthur. He had just finished tying the meat down when he looked up and saw Arthur trotting at a leisurely pace toward him. It wasn't longer than a few minutes that Charles stepped up to Taima and climbed into the saddle that the trek back to camp began.

"Nice work, Arthur. Should be enough meat here to keep us all fed for a few days." Charles complimented as he led the way.

"You found 'em." Arthur reminded.

"I knew you'd be okay with that bow." Charles mused with a grin in his tone, Arthur almost found himself getting red to his surprise.

"It's easier when they ain't shooting back." He joked back earning a small chuckle from Charles.

"We've seen enough of that." He snorted.

"Considering how things were looking a couple of days back, maybe our luck is finally on the turn." Arthur stated rather optimistically.

"Seems to me we should be putting our effort into getting off this mountain now." Charles stated in response.

"Soon. People are still weak and you've seen how snowed in those wagons are... They ain't going nowhere until we get some more thaw." Arthur sighed, he hated feeling stuck especially when they had more than just the usual bounty hunters on their tails.

"You're probably right. And, even if we do get off here... What then? We'll still have a big price on our heads." Charles observed.

"This is a big country... We'll find somewhere to lie low. Dutch and Hosea will have a plan." Arthur promised, though he had reservations of his own he was quick to change the subject for the rest of the ride back. "You noticed how Pearson's had a bottle in his hand ever since we fled Blackwater? We give the camp cook five minutes to grab the essentials and go, and he doesn't even bring a  _ crumb _ of food." He then exasperated.

"Good that we caught more than one. A lot of mouths to feed." Charles stated motioning back to their kills.

"And that girl from the ranch now too, but... Not sure she'll be eating much." Arthur muttered as he recalled her cabin in flames.

"She has a wild look in her eye." Charles mentioned with some surprise, Mrs. Adler was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

"You would too. She lost her husband, her home, everything she had." Arthur explained with understanding.

"So what do we do with her?"

"Once we get out of here, and we're back on our feet, we'll see. She might have family somewhere."

"So it was O'Driscolls you ran into there?" Charles questioned curiously.

"Yeah... Last thing we was expecting." Arthur scoffed.

"What  _ is it _ with the O'Driscolls?" Charles asked with a frown, feeling out of the loop.

"You ain't dealt with them..? I suppose we ain't run into them much the last six months." Arthur noted as he thought of the time Charles had been with them.

"Yeah... I've heard a lot of talk about them." He mentioned in reply, waiting a moment as Arthur thought how to explain their... Tempestuous relationship with the O'Driscolls.

"Well, we've been scrapping over scores with them for years. A big gang, nasty sons of bitches... Their leader, Colm, and Dutch go way back and not in a good way. A proper blood feud." He explained, leaving out his own torrid details.

"So I heard." Charles hummed, but before he could ask more the horses suddenly began alarming and shuffling in place as a large grizzly crossed their paths from the river. "Watch out..! Bear up ahead. Let's see if we can find another way around."

"He's got a lot of meat on ‘em."

"We've got enough here, no need to push our luck... He must be real hungry, stay well back. Spring storms like this are the worst for animals that sleep all winter." Charles remarked with unease, watching intently as the bear slowly moved on away from them. "Cut up here, off the trail."

Arthur followed Charles, watching carefully in case the bear decided to test his luck with them but thankfully they seemed to lose it after a few minutes. Arthur wasn't afraid of much, but he wasn't too keen on taking on a large predator that could have easily ripped him in two. However as Arthur settled his eyes back on the road ahead of them, they found themselves resting on Charles' back once again... Why he was so interested in the man was lost to Arthur, but riding up once more so that conversation was easier he cleared his throat.

"We ain't ever talked that much, you and me. How long have you been with us now? Five, six months?" He asked casually.

"Seems about right." Charles agreed.

"Bet you didn't expect this." Arthur snorted with some amusement.

"What?" Charles asked with confusion.

"Any of this. The Blackwater mess, being up here." Arthur described, but Charles was quick to shrug his shoulders.

"Sooner or later a job's going to go wrong. Nature of life." Charles mused without concern.

"Just thought you might have moved on by now." Arthur mentioned, watching as Charles glanced over and arching a brow.

"You want me to move on?"

"No, no, not at all, I just... I know you could run it alone, no problem." Arthur quickly reiterated, he would have traded Micah, Bill,  _ and  _ Uncle if it meant keeping Charles.

"I did that for a long time. I'm done with it. Always wondering if someone's gonna kill you in your sleep." He explained, shaking his head.

"I still wonder that most nights." Arthur chortled, hearing Charles snicker in response.

"I reckon you're okay... This suits me. Sure, I could fall in with another gang, but Dutch... You know. Dutch is different."

"Dutch is certainly different..." Arthur mused, recalling the many interesting situations he had with Dutch... Even their relationship was  _ different  _ once upon a time.

"He treats me fair. Most of you do, and for a feller with a black father and an Indian mother, that ain't normally the case." He reminded, causing Arthur to swallow harshly to forget about his intense past with Dutch.

"Well... We need you now, more than ever." He admitted seriously.

"Good... And how long have you been with these boys? Why ain't you run off?" Charles inquired with interest.

"Me..? Twenty years, something like that. Since I was a boy." He answered.

"Twenty years?" Charles gasped in shock as he gawked over.

"Yeah... He taught me to read. John, too. Taught me a few other things, him and Hosea." Arthur recalled fondly.

"I'm sure."

"Dutch saved me... Saved most of us. That's why we need to stick by him through this. He always sees us right." Arthur stated with conviction, even if he disagreed with Dutch's methods, he would never abandon him.

Hearing his horse snort and shake his head with discomfort, Arthur quickly turned around and looked behind him to be sure they weren't being followed. When he was sure they were still safe, he reached down and ran his hand over the beast's neck with reassurance knowing he was probably just as cold.

"How's that new horse?" Charles questioned.

"He's alright, he'll do for now. Appreciate you lettin' me take Taima the other night." He thanked as he thought about the future of his ride.

"She's a strong one. It's been as hard on the horses as on the rest of us. I don't know what Dutch would do if something happened to The Count." Charles commented.

"Same with Bill and Brown Jack. He's a drunk, miserable bastard, but... He loves that horse."

"I hope they all make it."

"I tried to ride the Count once... Bucked me faster than a bull. Won't take nobody but him" Arthur mused as they finally trotted into camp. "Brought some food back boys!" He hollered to announce their presence back. "C'mon let's get these over to Pearson." He said before pausing and looking back to Charles. "Oh, and thank you, for showing me how to use the bow properly."

"I only showed you a little. Takes a lifetime of practice to master." Charles replied with a friendly smile as they approached Pearson's cabin, the portly man's eyes doubled in size as he stood to greet them.

"Well, well, well... Just drop it down in here." He instructed and watching as Charles placed his carcass on the table while Arthur let his fall to the ground, he glanced over noting Uncle sitting in the corner with a bottle.

"What a surprise to find the camp rat loitering around the kitchen." Arthur observed dryly.

"Is that any way to greet an old friend? I feel like we haven't spoken for days." Uncle mused.

"I do my utmost to avoid you." Arthur mumbled as he reached out over the embers to warm his hands.

"He loves me really. It's his sad way of showing affection." Uncle quipped, passing the bottle to Pearson as he walked by.

"No it isn't. Now shoot, get lost." Arthur shooed, rolling his eyes.

"Well, see you gents later." Uncle grunted before begrudgingly exiting the cabin.

"See you got on just fine." Pearson examined motioning to the kills.

"Charles is a wonder." Arthur specified, knowing that without him he would have had just as shitty luck as Bill and Lenny.

"Have a drink, boys... You earned it." Pearson insisted, holding out the bottle to Arthur who was quick to take a drink but the strong liquid nearly took the air out of him.

"Jesus..! What is that?" he groaned, watching Charles' face scrunch up as well as he also took a drink.

"Navy rum, sir, it's the only thing... The only thing. Keeps you sane, it does." Pearson laughed as he took the bottle back and took a swig like it was nothing but water.

"Yes, seems to have done a treat on you." Arthur scoffed sarcastically before glancing to Charles. "You go rest that hand, Charles."

"I'll be fine in a few days." Charles assured as he examined the bandages while warming up by the fire.

"You mind helping me with the skinning, Mr. Morgan? It's easier if we do it together." Pearson asked.

"Do I get to skin you?" Arthur quipped as he walked over to the carcass he carried in.

"You're always one with the jokes aren't you? Come on." Pearson snorted.

"This isn't really a job for a man with a burnt hand. I'll see you both later." Charles mentioned before making his departure, Arthur nodding to him in response before looking back to Pearson.

"You skin that one ya dumped on the floor there."

Arthur pulled his knife from its sheath before looking over the quality of it. He really needed to sharpen it, but leaving that for later Arthur leaned down. Rolling the dear onto it's back, Arthur began carefully cutting into the belly, slowly separating the skin from the muscles. He also took his time gutting the creature to make sure he didn't end up spilling any stomach contents onto the meat. When he was done he held out the pelt for Pearson who nodded.

"Not too bad, Mr. Morgan. Yeah, they always said you were a butcher." he snickered as he took the skin from Arthur and studied it carefully. "You know you could trade these or sell these in pretty much any town. If you're looking to make a legitimate bit of money of course." he said off-handedly.

"Right now I'm just looking to get off this mountain alive." Arthur sighed as he looked out to the flurries of snow that continued to fall.

"Yeah, well if you catch anything else... You bring it to me." Pearson mused as Arthur passed by him and gently nudged him aside so that he could carry the kill for the larger man.

"Sure."

"Thank you, Mr. Morgan. Heck, Arthur Morgan's first decent bit of hunting, after all these years." Pearson joked as Arthur placed the deer up to be suspended by a rack.

"Yeah well, we're on the run now everyone's gotta do their bit to survive. Just make a good stew, folk need it... It's been a tough few days." Arthur sighed before ducking out of the cabin so that Pearson could cook undisturbed.

However for now he wondered where to go... And he hated himself a little bit because his feet already found themselves trudging toward the larger threshold where John was healing. He hadn't seen him at all since the night previous and... Arthur couldn't help feeling protective about the little shit who wasn't really so little anymore. He paused briefly outside of the door but as his hand reached out a gruff voice caught his attention and forced his heckles up in irritation already.

"See you and the redskin finally got back." Micah scoffed, when Arthur glanced over he noted the blonde man leaning against the cabin a bit to his left smoking a cigarette.

"Yep... Finally got us something decent to eat." Arthur replied, already straining a little from his obnoxious tone.

"Oh, thank you my leige..!" Micah mused dramatically as he did a less than comical bow before Arthur. "But before you get all high and mighty, I should  _ remind _ you that there's a real threat out there cowpoke. A few deer ain't gonna do shit in the long run. If it were up to me-"

"But it ain't." Arthur interjected, for once using his cunning instead of his anger, and a smirk slowly rolled over Arthur's lips. "... Ain't that right, Micah?" he inquired, reaching into his satchel and pulling out a smoke of his own.

If Micah was so interested in a dick measuring contest, Arthur was sure going to give it to him... Just not like that, the thought alone threatened to make Arthur nauseous. Thankfully though, Arthur didn't have enough time for that particular  _ vision _ before Micah released a small snort and looked away while Arthur inhaled the nicotine stick slowly.

"Look... We got bigger problems than the O'driscoll's... Dutch knows that. So do me a favor, stop revvin' him up... Those deer will keep us,  _ you,  _ from starvin' to death in this godforsaken mountain... You're welcome." Arthur eventually growled.

"... That's fair, I suppose." Micah eventually mentioned, actually surprising Arthur. "But I can't stop Dutch from doin' anything he wants... Not even  _ you _ can do that." He then added with a small smirk of his own before pushing himself off the wall of the shack and heading back toward his own lodging, of course, Arthur shouldn't have expected any better.

Biting his tongue Arthur eventually released a puff of pent up breath knowing it wasn't worth expending his anger toward Micah... That's what he wanted after all. He didn't understand why Dutch tolerated all of Micah's bullshit, sure the guy saved him but that didn't suddenly absolve him from being a  _ major _ pain in the ass. Shaking his head, Arthur put out his fresh cigarette before swinging open the door, actually jumping slightly when Jack ran into him.

"Whoa there kid..! Slow down you'll fall and hurt yourself on the ice." Arthur reminded, arching a brow down at the small child as he looked up at Arthur with surprise.

"Uncle Arthur, your back!" Jack celebrated, not even paying tribute to his previous words... Not that Arthur really minded.

"Sure am, you didn't hear me?"

"Uncle Hosea was making me practice writing..." The small child whined only slightly. "Will you play with me, Uncle Arthur?" He then inquired enthusiastically, causing Arthur to frown only a bit with guilt, he  _ always _ wanted to please Jack but right now John was more important.

"I'd love to kid but..."

Glancing up, Arthur was met with the sight of John and Abigail talking in hushed tones across the room where John was set up, not even paying mind to anything around them. While Arthur couldn't hear what was being said... Watching Abigail smile so sweetly the way she used to do for him and seeing John so happy to see that smile... Suddenly Arthur didn't feel the need to check up on John so much. He had Abigail after all, that was her job as his spouse, Arthur did his job with rescuing John and now... Things could go back to normal.

"... Sure, c'mon Jack."

> I know you tried  
>  I know you tried your best  
>  And now it's time to put this all to rest  
>  Minutes pass and those days seem long ago, oh-oh  
>  A distant voice  
>  One that I used to know  
>  There's a voice and it's tryin' to drag me down, down  
>  If you go then I'm goin' with you now
> 
>   
>  Don't look back  
>  Nothin' left to see  
>  Just leave the shadows in the past  
>  If I let it go  
>  Can I shak e this feelin'?  
>  Oh-oh-oh  
>  Just like that  
>  Tomorrow's one day that I'm never getting back  
>  I can feel you, though  
>  Wake me from this dreamin'
> 
>   
>  Flip the switch  
>  You're keepin' me in the dark  
>  My vision's clear, I see ya left a mark  
>  I'm the voice and I won't let you drag me down, down  
>  If you go, I'm not goin' with you now
> 
>   
>  Don't look back  
>  Nothin' left to see  
>  Just leave the shadows in the past  
>  If I let it go  
>  Can I shake this feelin'?  
>  Oh-oh-oh  
>  Just like that  
>  Tomorrow's one day that I'm never getting back  
>  I can feel you, though  
>  Wake me from this dreamin'  
>  Wake me from this dreamin  
> 
> 
> [Don't Look Back (feat. Kotomi & Ryan Elder) [From Rick and Morty Season 4]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l3iLpOiSHQ&ab_channel=RickandMorty)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm so sorry for the delay in uploading. I'm dealing with school stuff and a miserable job which makes writing not very easy but I'm quitting said job and plan to upload the next chapter MUCH sooner than this one! Thank you all for being so patient, I may still have SOME issues in the future posting due to taking care of my mother but otherwise have no fear I will prevail!  
> Once again thank you all so so so much for reading and being awesome. :)  
> -Eros


	9. White Rabbit

"You got me Jack!" Arthur gasped out as he reached up and grabbed his chest before without hesitation falling back flat onto the fresh fluff after he was pelted with a snowball.

"Uncle Arthur!" Jack giggled as he ran over to him. "You let me!"

"... Was it that obvious?" Arthur inquired after a moment, squinting open an eye as he laid pretending to be dead.

"... What's obvi... Obvisious?"

"Don't worry about it."

Huffing out a small chuckle, Arthur sat up, gently brushing the snow out of his hair and grabbing his hat off the ground. However, before they could continue their game of cops and robbers with child-friendly weapons, he noted Dutch riding back into camp upon The Count. Arthur was still worried about his longtime friend's peace of mind but before he could even inquire about it, Dutch glanced over.

"Arthur, I see you're tied up with somethin' but could I possibly requisition you?" He asked.

"Requisition..?" Arthur snorted softly to himself, pushing himself back to his feet and swatting his pants free of debris.

"Aw, but me and Uncle Arthur were playin'!" Jack groaned.

"I know son, but I promise I'll give him back as soon as I can, alright?" Dutch asked with a small grin at Jack's eagerness... And he had to admit it was cute to see Arthur so willing to entertain him. "Besides, I'm sure your daddy would love a visit from you."

Arthur couldn't help but be put off at the mention of John... Clearing his throat softly he nodded to Jack as the other clutched his legs tightly for a few moments and ran off to be with his mother and father once again. Watching his little legs scamper off, Arthur's hardened heart felt shaken by just how fast he was growing. However, knowing he was needed, he turned his attention back to Dutch.

"Whatcha need me for?"

"Why don't you meet me with the boys in the other cabin? I just have to get some things together." Dutch replied easily.

"Sure... How you doin' by the way? You probably shouldn't head out alone like that." Arthur mentioned casually.

"Oh Arthur, I appreciate your loving concern but I assure you, I'm more than capable of handlin' myself against Colm's rabid animals he calls followers..." Dutch scoffed, waving off Arthur's concern who rolled his eyes subtly with a small smile as Dutch turned to him.

"I'm sure." Arthur retorted before shrugging and nodding. "I'll meet you over there then."

"Arthur." Dutch quipped, catching him.

Turning around, for the first time in what he realized was many months... He met Dutch's eyes fully. How Dutch looked at him never failed to make him weak, even now that they hadn't been romantically involved for _years_... But if he were being honest, even before that, Dutch always had a way with making his feelings bow to his own and now, Arthur wasn't sure he liked it so much.

"... Thank you, for listenin' for... Everything." He mentioned briefly, averting his eyes almost bashfully.

"... O'course." Arthur replied simply before turning away from him and making his way toward the cabin.

What was that..? Arthur's heart had quickened momentarily but just as it came it went. He hadn't felt things for Dutch in a very long time... And he didn't want those feelings returning any time soon. He had enough on his mind as it was already, blinking Arthur continued forward, putting all clashing thoughts out of his mind. Nodding to Javier as he walked toward the cabin, Arthur swung open the door to reveal that every other able body was inside to which Micah was already hounding for action.

"-up with you boys, because I thought you liked action. Couple of days on the lam and you lot have all turned yella," He sneered as Arthur walked across the threshold, but pausing and motioning to the bottle Micah was holding expectantly to which he was given without argument. "Apart from you, of course." He mentioned, looking at Lenny.

"Shut up, Micah." The other growled as Arthur loaded another log into the furnace.

"I ain't never seen so many long faces." Micah goaded, glancing over with disinterest as Javier entered with a gust of wind behind him.

"I guess... I guess folks miss them... That fell?" Bill hinted, watching Arthur take a swig of the bottle and mindlessly passing it back to Micah.

"Well, when I fall, I don't want no fuss." Micah huffed defiantly.

"When you fall..? There'll be a party." Lenny snickered with a wide grin, earning a small snort of amusement from Arthur and a laugh from Bill.

"A party, probably." Bill chuckled.

Arthur sat down in a free chair in front of the furnace before lighting up a cigarette, paying no mind to the back and forth beside him until Micah stood up. Arthur could already tell that this wasn't going to end well...

"That funny, huh?" Micah inquired as he stood before Bill.

"Sure." Bill agreed, not realizing the danger.

Before Bill could even prepare, Micah narrowed his eyes and swung his fist quickly enough to collide with Bill's cheek with impressive force. Bill was blinded with rage and lunged toward Micah, but before he could Arthur had already stood up, cigarette in his mouth and all so he could quickly hold Bill back with Lenny and Javier's help.

"Maybe I don't feel like being laughed at by the likes of you two..!" Micah defended as Bill glared him down, thankfully before things could escalate further Dutch burst into the cabin.

"Stop it! Now!" He hollered, Javier quickly took the advantage of trying to slip past Dutch in the chaos before he could be yelled at but Dutch swiftly reached up and blocked his exit before continuing. "You fools punching each other when Colm O'Driscoll's needing punching, hard?"

Arthur frowned, realizing exactly why Dutch had _requisitioned_ his help... To continue his pissing contest with Colm. He quickly brushed past everyone, slightly eyeing Dutch on his way out as he continued speaking and waited patiently outside for him.

"You wanna sit around waiting for him to come find us? All of you, we got work to do. Come on."

"Are you sure about this, Dutch?" He asked when he watched Dutch follow him out.

"Yes." Dutch stated seriously as he ushered everyone out one by one.

"Folks been through a lot recently, we hardly back on our feet yet." Arthur argued.

"And the last thing we need is to get bushwhacked by Colm O'Driscoll." Dutch contested, reaching up and resting his hand upon Arthur's shoulder and guiding Arthur toward the horses. "Let's go."

"I know you hate him, Dutch." Arthur quickly empathized.

"He's here for us."

"I doubt that."

"No, you're just doubting me." Dutch argued, glancing over at Arthur with enough disappointment to catch Arthur off guard but just like that he looked away and walked over to his horse... Arthur wasn't sure what hurt worse, the words or the indifference surrounding them.

"I would never doubt you, Dutch, you-..." Arthur paused. "You always said revenge is a luxury we can't afford." He continued in more of a hushed tone.

"This is the right call, Arthur. Take this." Dutch instructed without room for arguments and handed Arthur a carbine repeater. "And this is more than revenge for business long ago. They were talking about trains and detonators. Here." He continued explaining with the Dutch charm that Arthur remembered and handing him a lasso as well. "Colm always had good information. Come on."

"And _now_ you think now is the time to hit a train?" Arthur questioned, walking around his horse's side and climbing on while Dutch mounted The Count now that everyone was ready to go.

"Now you might fancy living on deer piss and rabbit shit... I'm getting too old for that life." Dutch mused with a small wink toward Arthur before looking back toward the camp. "Mr. Matthews, Mr. Smith, Mr. Pearson, would you please look after the place, there are O'Driscolls about!" He called, and without any more room for Arthur to try and convince him otherwise, Dutch kicked his horse and rode off with the group close in tow.

* * *

_Blink. Blink._

The sun was so bright... So warm. John laid quietly and suddenly realized just how comfortable he was... Where _was_ he anyway? Looking around... John breathed out quietly as he slowly sat up. He was in a golden field, and despite having no clue where he was or why... John felt an overwhelming sense of calm. Frowning, he reached up and hesitantly ran his fingertips over his face only to realize there were no gashes to be had and no pain to be felt.

He had been attacked by wolves not even a week ago and yet his face was fine... And his leg felt surprisingly well, enough to maybe even...

Taking another breath, John pushed himself into a standing position with ease. Wherever he was... He was free and out of pain at least. Was he dead..? No, that didn't really feel right either, but before he could start figuring his predicament out, he looked out into the distance to see a figure standing on one of the hills. Tilting his head, John began his approach. It became obvious very soon that whatever it was, it was an animal, and John was surprised to see that it was unafraid of him.

As he got closer, he could see two antlers sitting atop it's head like a graceful crown, it was a buck and he was a large one. He looked like he could take on any predator and win, but as John got closer there was something familiar about him. Turning his massive head toward John, he stopped in his tracks as he saw that the buck was actually crying... Tears were silently falling from his cobalt hues which alarmed John.

"What..? Who hurt you..?" He asked softly in complete shock.

**_BA-BUMP._ **

When John's eyes opened again he was laying in the cabin and the pain he had been dealing with made itself known again with a vengeance. He groaned softly, earning the attention of Hosea who was sitting beside him casually reading a book. Glancing up and noting John was awake he slowly closed what he was reading and scooted a bit forward.

"John?"

"Huh..?"

"Was wonderin' when you'd finally wake up again... You been out for a while." Hosea mentioned.

John blinked the sleep out of his eyes and took a moment to look around the cabin, it was getting dark outside. Grunting softly he reached around and carefully started to sit himself up.

"Hold on, hold on..!" Hosea chided as he stood up and reached down to help John up.

"Thanks Hosea..." John sighed once he was finally up.

"No problem... How are you feelin'? You've been asleep all day."

"No I haven't..."

"Most of the day then..."

"... I feel like shit." John eventually sighed as he reached down and rested a hand on his throbbing leg.

"That's to be expected... Here, lemme take a look at it." Hosea mentioned, motioning for John to swing his leg around.

"I-It's alright." John mumbled with a small blush of embarrassment. "M-Miss Grimshaw should be here-"

"John, I know enough to know if you're in trouble, gimme your damn leg." He ordered.

"Jesus, alright." John huffed as he turned his body a bit and allowed Hosea to bring his leg onto his lap.

John watched as Hosea meticulously unbound John's legs from the bandages. He looked over the deep gashes that remained open as well as those that Susan ended up stitching shut, John was very lucky right now. Everything looked well for the moment and while it was still too soon to tell if he'd really pull out of it, it was a promising start. Eventually, John glanced up and noted that it was just him and Hosea in the cabin right now, and his curiosity got the best of him.

"Where's Abigail and Jack?" He inquired.

"She took him to get somethin' to eat about ten minutes ago, I'm sure they'll be back quick." Hosea responded before nodding and beginning to slowly wrap John's leg back up.

"... Food sounds amazing right about now." John groaned, just the thought made his stomach growl angrily, causing Hosea to actually chuckle while he worked.

"I'll make sure to go fetch you something when they get back." He said with amusement.

"I ain't a child, Hosea... I'll be fine for a little while on my own ya know." John huffed.

"I know that... It's just... Well, this is for me I suppose." Hosea muttered, piquing John's interest.

He didn't have to be a genius to realize why Hosea was being so fussy at the moment... It was his way of showing worry and affection, and while Hosea was far more versed in his feelings than people like Dutch and Arthur, he still wasn't the touchy-feely type. It was a big deal for him to be physically checking on John's wounds, he must have been worried sick.

"... Sorry if I made everyone worry." John then mentioned with a tinge of regret, watching Hosea pause momentarily before picking back up.

"It's alright... What matters is your safe." He replied evenly. "I dunno what woulda happened if Arthur hadn't agreed to go get you." Hosea then mentioned off-handedly.

It was a sentiment that John fully agreed with, but at the thought of Arthur, his gut twinged uncomfortably. He hadn't seen the other man since yesterday and while it hadn't really been that long... Arthur disappeared before he woke up the next morning. He wished he could have at least said goodbye...

"Uh... Where is Arthur, anyway?" He asked, trying to be as smooth as he could, but noting the look in Hosea's eyes as he finished rewrapping his leg, he worried he'd never hear the end of it.

"Out with Dutch... You know him, with the O'driscoll's around, Arthur's the only one to keep Dutch on somewhat of a leash." He sighed, but soon arched his brow with intrigue. "... Why?"

"I-I was just wonderin' that's all... H-He sat with me for a while and just kinda vanished..." John replied, cursing the nervous stutter, something that plagued him as a child.

"Mm." Hosea hummed casually enough, but once again, the glint in his eyes made John suspicious. "I'm sure they'll be back soon enough, you want me to send him in when they arrive?"

"N-No reason to bother him... I was just wonderin'." He repeated softly.

Hosea observed John carefully... It wasn't like him to even speak Arthur's name nowadays, let alone ask for him. It was truly interesting and Hosea would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about what changed but he also wasn't interested in getting in Arthur's business... Especially _this_ kind of business. Their relationship was delicate enough as it was without Hosea poking his nose in, however before he could make any more notes in his head, the sound of a group of horses rolled into camp and the door opened to reveal none other than Abigail and Jack walking inside.

"John..! You're awake, you shouldn't be up." She chastised slightly.

"Blame me, Abigail. I wanted to look at his leg." Hosea quickly defended to avoid another confrontation between the two of them, they had done well since John had arrived back for the most part.

"How's it look?" She asked as she and Jack approached John's bed, the boy quickly climbing onto John's cot now that he was up so he could sit next to him.

The boy truly wore his heart on his sleeve, it was just too bad that John was blind to it. However, this time John glanced over and quickly wrapped an arm around Jack's shoulders, making him beam a smile brightly up at him. Abigail would be lying if she said it wasn't adorable.

"Looks good bein' what it is... Dutch back?" Hosea inquired looking to the door.

"Oh, yeah they just got back... Arthur is laggin' behind but Dutch said he'd be back after catchin' the white rabbit..? I have no clue what that means." Abigail murmured.

"They caught someone?" John asked, arching a brow.

"I-Is that what that means?" Abigail asked back.

"Usually somethin' like that…” Hosea mentioned before turning his attention back to John. "I'm going to go see who our new guest is..."

* * *

"Where are you taking me!?" The bound man asked as Arthur galloped back toward camp after a successful raid on one of Colm O'driscoll's holding camps.

"Somewhere you ain't gonna like." Arthur replied simply.

"Why? What are you gonna do to me!?"

"Some _thing_ you ain't gonna like. So I'd advise you to save your breath for screaming."

"I-I've only been running with them a couple of months! I don't know nothing real about them, honest!" The man wailed.

"Are you trying to test me, is that it? Because I will break every bone in your body." Arthur snarled back as a rather mean gust of wind hit Arthur like a punch.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Okay?"

"Not one more goddamn word, am I clear?" Arthur asked seriously, already exhausted and freezing.

"Okay, okay!" The man conceded.

"That's two bones, right there."

Thankfully, the man he was carrying was smart enough to get the message and suffer in silence for the rest of the ride, and while Arthur rode he allowed his mind to wander a little. What he truly wanted was a hot meal and a rest... But there was no rest for the wicked. Reaching up, Arthur ran his gloved hand over his developing beard. Normally he liked to keep himself more groomed but he didn't have much time to take care of the necessities before being driven out of Blackwater and right now, Arthur figured his beard was actually providing some useful cover from the wind. He'd deal with it for now... Arthur was grateful that the man didn't put up much of a fight and he was back in camp before long. The sky was dark and he didn't want to get stuck out in the wilderness in this weather like John.

"Here we are, you sack of shit. Let's introduce you to the boys." Arthur mused as he parked his horse by the hitching post next to all the others.

"Don't hurt me, please..!" His captive begged while Arthur hauled him over his shoulder and began trudging toward Dutch's cabin.

"Oh, don't worry, they're real nice." Arthur assured, watching as Dutch swung open the door with Hosea close in tow, obviously expecting him.

"You found the little shit, did you?" Dutch mused with a smirk.

"Yep." Arthur replied before dumping the tied man to the floor with a hard _oof_. "I got him."

"Very good." Dutch praised, watching as Arthur pulled out his knife to untie the man's legs and hauling him up to his feet unceremoniously. "Welcome to your new home... Hope you're _real_ happy here." He crowed as he rolled up the plans stolen from Colm's stronghold.

"Want me to make him talk?" Arthur offered.

"Oh no, now all we'll get is lies." Dutch replied. "Uncle! Mr. Williamson! Tie this maggot up someplace safe. We get him hungry first." Dutch instructed as the two men he called out too approached, taking over for Arthur in holding onto the man. "I got a saying, my friend... We shoot fellers as need shooting... Save fellers as need saving... And feed 'em as need feeding. We're gonna find out what you need." He said just above a whisper before letting out a small ruckus of laughter. "I can't believe it! An O'Driscoll in my camp!"

"No, I ain't an O'Driscoll, mister! I hate that feller!" The other man squealed as he was led off from Arthur and Dutch.

"Oh, whatever you say, son." Dutch chortled before looking to Arthur with a grin of pride. "Well done, Arthur."

"I'm just sorry we missed out on Colm." Arthur mentioned with a small frown.

"Oh, there's time enough for that. Now, I gotta figure out if we can hit that train." Dutch replied almost in a hurried fashion as he retreated back into the cabin, the only two left outside now were Arthur and Hosea.

"How'd you get on?" Hosea inquired.

"Okay, fucker can ride but otherwise it was an easy nab." Arthur replied.

"... Why don't you head in and get yourself warmed up while me and Dutch look over those plans. You've been workin' hard." Hosea them mused, nodding toward the cabin where John was being held. "And can you take John something to eat?" He asked, noting the hesitance in Arthur's eyes.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll do that." He replied.

Hosea watched as Arthur walked toward the lodging, he hoped he hadn't just made a mistake in guiding Arthur that way but John obviously wanted to see him... He just wasn't man enough to say it, and Hosea had a rather strong feeling that Arthur was in the same boat right now. Only time would tell if they got over themselves and squashed the bad blood between them.

Putting one foot in front of the other, Arthur ended up passing the cabin and heading towards the smell of cooking. Noting that everyone was gathered in their make-shift kitchen, Arthur took a plate quickly to fill his empty stomach, he felt loads better physically afterward but it wasn't long enough before he retreated. There was nothing against his family, there never was... They were just a lot and Arthur needed to decompress as per usual. Gathering a plate for John as requested he ventured back toward the cabin before finally biting the bullet and taking a slow breath. He pulled open the door to the cabin and for a moment, Arthur froze when he realized that it was just him, John, Abigail, and Jack... This sure wasn't awkward at all.

Clearing his throat, Arthur walked in and noted John looking over to him with a look of what seemed to be pleasant surprise but he could have been wrong, he approached with the plate in hand before offering it to John to which he eyeballed gratefully. Arthur was relieved to see that John's appetite hadn't been affected by his injuries.

"Thanks..." The other muttered.

"Arthur." Abigail greeted with a smile.

"Uncle Arthur! You're back! Can we play some more?" He asked.

"Jack, let Uncle Arthur rest for goodness sakes." Abigail scolded slightly as Arthur walked back over to the stove and sat near it to put some distance between them.

"It's alright... We had a good time today, didn't we Jack?" Arthur asked with a small tired smile of his own as he looked over to Jack perched underneath John's arm... So pleased to be his son, causing Arthur to quickly look away from them once more just out of instinct.

"Did you..?" John asked curiously, a small level of tension already making itself known in the room.

It was no secret that John didn't like Arthur spending time with his son... But it was only because he did it _so well_ . When John spent time with Jack he always felt out of place, like he was doing it wrong no matter how hard he tried but with Arthur... It was like he just knew everything, and it was also no secret that Arthur was Jack's favorite _uncle,_ which only pissed John off more. But this time, John reminded himself that just fifteen minutes before, he _wanted_ to see Arthur... Why was he feeling so conflicted?

"It was so fun! I got him with a snowball!" Jack bubbled with nothing but childish joy that never failed to put everyone around him in a better mood, Abigail giggled.

"I bet you did." She agreed.

"He's a good shot, just like his daddy." Arthur mused, his eyes shifting over to John discreetly while he ate some much-needed food, the words catching him completely off guard and making him completely stop what he was doing and stare at Arthur... Who couldn't help a small amused smile.

"Really!?" Jack gasped, looking back over to John who actually sported a full blush, he was just thankful that the bandages covered half his face.

"Of course." John snorted, attempting a smooth recovery once again.

Thankfully with Jack being so young, he didn't feel the tension release in the room, but as John felt Abigail lean against his good arm, he turned his head over to her to see a smile akin to pride on her face. He hated feeling so coddled, but fighting his typical defense mechanisms, John just released a small breath and leaned back into her. For once he was allowing her to support him and there was nothing Abigail cherished more in that moment.

"Where'd ya'll head up to?" John eventually asked, wanting to keep the conversation moving.

"Dutch was insistent on payin' Colm a visit." Arthur scoffed, rolling his eyes as he leaned back and relaxed in his chair.

"What!?" John gasped. "What was he thinkin'?"

"Your guess is as good as mine... I can't say I don't understand why but now just didn't seem smart. He was sure of himself though, so we'll just have to see where this leads." Arthur sighed.

"Hopefully it doesn't get anyone else killed in the process." John grumbled.

"C'mon John, you can't blame that on Dutch." Arthur reprimanded gently, watching Abigail frown and gently usher Jack toward her so that she could hold him.

"The hell I can't." John argued back calmly. "You of all people should be with me on this... I mean you and Hosea had the score that would have given us at least a start but he was too impatient. You tried tellin' him and he didn't listen." He reminded.

A thought plagued Arthur's mind that for the first time in ages... He and John were having a civil disagreement, but before he could relish the feeling, Javier's words echoed in his mind about what happened on the ferry as well as Hosea's words of warning before the descent. It could have been prevented... But in the end, Dutch knew that too and he hated himself for it.

"... I know, Dutch knows." Arthur replied with a small frown as he looked into the fire. "... Maybe that's why I let it go, because I know he's beatin' himself up for it right now. C'mon John we've stuck with Dutch through worse than this, remember?" He asked, watching John's expression soften into thoughtful contemplation.

"I guess you're right I just... I'm worried... About all of us." He muttered, catching Arthur's attention as he glanced back over, noting that John's eyes were locked on him.

"... Me too." Arthur replied, mirroring John's gaze.

> I'm tryna tell you that I'm sorry  
> Yeah, I really wanna work this out  
> I wish we didn't have to say those words  
> Just to make things right
> 
> Yeah, I know that I was wrong  
> What seems right ain't always gold  
> I understand if you don't wanna take it  
> But at least I've tried
> 
> To make it right (To make it right)  
> To make it right (To make it right)  
> To make it right  
> To make it right
> 
> If only you could see all the pain  
> That it put me through  
> Then maybe you would believe me  
> You'd believe me
> 
> 'Cause yeah, I know that I was wrong  
> What seems right ain't always gold  
> I understand if you don't wanna take it  
> But at least I've tried
> 
> To make it right (To make it right)  
> To make it right (To make it right)  
> To make it right  
> To make it right
> 
>   
> To make it right (To make it right)  
> To make it right (To make it right)  
> To make it right  
> To make it right
> 
> source: [To Make It Right by yaeow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1Tfiv9NGE&ab_channel=AminiumMusic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEEEEEEE I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T BE LONG TILL CHAPTER 9.
> 
> In all seriousness, I hope this somewhat makes up for my unexpected absence over the last few weeks! I know that this story has been sooooooooooooo slow getting into the real meat (we still aren't even there yet lmao) but I promise it will be worth the pay off and hope that it's been worth the slow burn! Let me knows your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading!  
> -Eros


End file.
